12.24.06

We’re Away For Right Now

By Rob

In case you hadn’t noticed, Population Paste is on hiatus. It might seem crazy, but Ali and I have other things going on in our lives that sometimes prevent us from perusing the weirdest, darkest corners of the internet and writing about them. However, I for one would love to see Paste resurrected, and since it’s clear that the two of us alone aren’t going to get our shit together to make it happen, we’re going to need your help. If you’re a talented writer with a desensitized mind and razor-sharp wit, and would be interested in contributing articles to this fine establishment, send some info about yourself and your very best writing samples to rob@populationpaste.com with the subject “I LOVE TENTACLE PORN.” If I ever get around to looking through the submissions, and if any of them meet our high quality standards, maybe we’ll get some new articles going around here. By the way, writing for this site does not involve actively seeking out subject matter - our readers provide that in spades, and we have a massive backlog of horrifying content just waiting to be dug into. It also doesn’t pay anything right now - you’d be involved purely for your love of coprophilia and adult babies. Of course, if we’re able to get the site running again and start generating some revenue from it, then we’ll throw some cash your way.

06.22.06

Gimps Gone Wild: Dirty, Disabled, and Damn Sexy

By Rob

I should start by acknowledging how scant the updates have been lately, and assuring you all that no, the internet has not run out of porn. We’ve merely been busy. Well, I’ve been busy, Ali has more or less been on vacation, so please, send her an e-mail or ten and tell her exactly what you think about that. Anyway, regular updates should resume in the near future - thanks for waiting ever-so-patiently for more smut. And now, on to today’s article…

You have to give disabled people a lot of credit. In the face of adversity, many of them live fuller, happier lives than the average able-bodied person - and none of them ever want to hear the phrase “you can’t do that.” Nor, apparently, the phrase “please, please, don’t do that,” as they certainly must have heard when they decided to pose naked on the internet. Yes, it’s time to find out what happens when gimps… go wild.

The topic of disability fetishism is too broad for the scope of this particular article, but rest assured, it exists. For whatever reason, some people get crazy boners over deformed, amputated, or otherwise physically challenged individuals. I’m not saying disabled people can’t be attractive - but to be specifically interested in chicks with stumps is… well, it’s kind of weird. Regardless, you won’t find a more entertaining source of disability porn than Gimps Gone Wild.

GGW is run by two disabled people - Kitten and Mike - and seems sincere in its desire to provide the handicapped with a means of sexual expression. Unfortunately, most of its models wouldn’t have any sex appeal even they weren’t gimps.

But enough talk - let’s meet some of the models. In the girls section, there are amputees like Fantasy:

Wheelchair-bound paraplegics, like Southern Sweets:

And the site’s co-founder, Kitten, who makes the other gimps look downright boring with her Osteogenesis Imperfecta - I’m not even exactly sure what that is, but the name alone is pretty hardcore:

For more photos of Kitten, and to order full photo sets or even prints - visit her photo page

Honestly though, the site really starts to reach its true potential when it gets to the men, and the white trash factor increases tenfold. Quadriplegic model Superman, for example, says of his hobbies: “Love to paint and design exotic dancer clothes. Research and development is fun too.” Oh, Supe’s a wily one! He adds: “I’ve got a Texas accent that becomes stronger the hornier I get.” Well, you’re all going to have Texas accents after seeing his photos:

Or perhaps you crave a harder edge, like the hook-armed manliness of Bear Claw:

I bet dude does some kinky shit with that hook - but not half as kinky as what Billie here does with his LITTLE FLIPPER ARMS!!!

Incidentally, Billie has degrees in computational mathematics and theoretical computer science, and a hobby of selling his used socks on eBay. He also has LITTLE FLIPPER ARMS!!!!

Billie is my fucking hero. Straight up. Because honestly, I bet the dude gets crazy laid. He has the royal flush of sympathy cards - he can’t reach his own penis! Really ladies, could you look at Billie’s puppy dog eyes, and his little flipper arms and how tragically far away they are from his dick, and then not give him a blowjob? …That’s what I thought.

Anyway, let’s move on to Dragon, who’s kind of like a gothic cowboy. A chubby, paraplegic gothic cowboy, even.

Unfortunately none of the samples on GGW’s site ever really get to the good dirty stuff - you’ll have to pay for that. But here’s a titillating taste of what awaits you in the Dragon’s lair:

What’s great about Gimps Gone Wild is that its humor rarely has anything to do with the fact that the models are disabled. In the case of Your Fantasy Man, his missing leg is just icing on the cake of awesomeness:

“Your Fantasy Man” seems to be the debonair playboy of the gimps. You can tell he gets all kinds of weird with girls and wants them to lick his stump and shit like that. And really, with a sex face like this, I bet they don’t even hesitate:

For a lot more gimps going a lot more wild, head on over to Gimps Gone Wild and buy yourself some sexy photos. If you need any more persuading, I’ll close with what might be my favorite sample photo from the site:

Fuck. Yeah.

06.07.06

Sicko Games: The Fear Factor Of Porn

By Rob

For me, Population Paste has been, among other things, an educational experience. The amazing submissions we receive every day have added tremendously to my already frighteningly extensive knowledge of fringe fetishes and abhorable behaviors. I’m not entirely sure that’s a good thing, but hey, everyone has to have a hobby, right?

One of the strange themes I’ve seen running through a lot of porn of late is the desire amongst men to see women humiliated and degraded. Feminists would argue that this has always been the case, but when you see people like Max Hardcore enjoying such tremendous popularity, it’s clear the humiliation bar has been significantly raised (incidentally, max hardcore is a bit too mainstream to warrant an entry on population paste, but he’s a worthy footnote - the idea that someone could get off to a creepy old cowboy geezer gagging acne-assed white trash sluts with his piss until they vomit all over his wrinkly cock makes about as much sense to me as, say, full-grown men dressing up in diapers and being bottle-fed. but i digress).

Personally, I’m not into degrading women - whatever is lacking in some mens’ lives that requires them to use sex as a means of gaining power is apparently not lacking in my own life. But, if it was, my first stop for masturbation fodder would be Sicko Games.

Sicko Games is essentially the Fear Factor of the porn world. They have TV-style episodes featuring competitions where naked girls compete in a variety of grotesque, degrading stunts with sexual themes. The winners get paid for their efforts. The losers go home empty-handed. It’s all presented in kind of a light-hearted, fratboy-humor tone. I’m less disturbed by the content of the show and more disturbed that people actually pay money to watch these episodes, and somehow get off on them.

Here’s a selection of some of the games girls participate in on Sicko Games - the descriptions are direct from the site’s full listing of events:

Hot Sauce Blowjob: Each girl must roll a dice to determine how many spoons of hot sauce will be placed on the guy’s dick. She will then give a blowjob for one minute. The girl who gives the guy with the stiffest boner at the end of the 1 minute wins. (Judged by the host)

Cunt Stretching: Girls take markers and insert them one by one until their pussies can’t handle it anymore.  The largest number wins.

Ho Train: Each girl has her wrists bound and is dragged down with a rope down a long plastic mat filled with oil, ketchup, eggs, worms, etc.  Along the way she must pickup dead rotting fish from one bowl and place them in a second using her mouth.  Fastest time wins.

Wait a minute. Rotting fish? Honestly, if naked girls carrying rotting fish meat in their mouth across a floor of worms and catchup gets you off, you’re probably just a few steps away from thinking this guy had the right idea. Anyway, let’s continue…

How Deep Can You Go - Anal? Each girl will take a 2 foot Double-Sided Dildo and insert it into her asshole as far as she can. The girl who can insert it the deepest wins.

Snot Rockets: The girl selects a male partner who draws 3 bullseyes on her: two around her nipples and one around her pussy. The bullseye is worth 10 points, the inner ring is worth 5 points and the outer ring is worth 1 point.  The guys stand on top of a ladder and blow snot rockets from their nose to the target. The girl with the most points wins.

Tea Baggin’: “Tea bagging” occurs when a man stands over a girl and drops his nut sack onto her head.  In this game guys drop their balls into a bowl of filled with various substances such as soy sauce, vinegar, and urine.  They then tea bag a girl.  She gets points by correctly guessing the substance based on the taste of his balls.

Okay, so those are kind of fucked up, but it gets worse…

Turd Flinging: A bullseye is drawn around a girls tits and her pussy.  A male partner is selected and must throw 3 dried up turds at the girl from 15 feet away.  Whoever hits the most targets wins.

Worm Blowjob: Each girl rolls a die to determine how many worms she must stick in her mouth.  She must give a blowjob to a guy for 1 minute with the worms in her mouth.  If completed she gets 3 points.

Now those are the main games. However, if a girl comes in last place in the main competition, she has to spin the wheel of shame:

The wheel of shame contains the most grotesque of the stunts, including Be The Dog (girl is leashed and forced to eat dog food), Fart Test (girl’s face is farted on numerous times), Piss Pops (girl has to eat frozen urine popsicles), Shit Snorkel (girl has to wear snorkeling gear and then smash her face into a fresh pile of shit for 10 seconds), Skid Mark Gas Mask (girl has to wear shit-stained underwear on her face), Toe Lickin (girl has to lick garlic powder and mayonnaise off of a guy’s dirty foot), and, my personal favorite, Pubes Pizza, where pubes are cut from numerous mens’ genitals and placed on a slice of cheese pizza, which the girl must then eat:

And, of course, all contestants of Sicko Games get “properly fucked” in front of the camera.

You know, I realize dippy stripper chicks have bills to pay, or accidental children to take care of, or coke habits to support, but honestly, if getting fucked on camera for money is considered a last financial resort, where the hell does Sicko Games fit in? There are thousands and thousands of outlets for standard, guy-fucks-girl, girl-fucks-girl porn which pay perfectly well and do not involve worm blowjobs and shit snorkels. Consider also that according to the FAQ, the average budget of an episode of Sicko Girls is $5000, which includes all of the equipment and production, so you can figure these girls probably aren’t getting much more than a few hundred bucks to spend a full day getting assfucked and pissed on while covered in mayonnaise. It makes you wonder how any girl gets involved in something like this - that is, until you see this clip of some of the contestants being interviewed, and realize most of them seem to be borderline retarded.

For some full-motion previews of Sicko Games, I encourage you to watch all of the trailers on their site, and take a tour to see if wasabi blowjobs are what’s been missing from your porn collection.

05.14.06

Mother’s Day Special: Fetus-Poking Fun!

By Rob

Since it’s Mother’s Day (and I’m sure you’ve already sent your Grandma her special mother’s day card), I figured what better way to celebrate than with some pictures of mommies-to-be getting ass-banged while they squirt breast milk all over some creepy dude’s face. We’ve previously discussed male pregnancy fetishism, so now we’ll address its more obvious counterpart: Maiesiophilia - or, the sexual attraction to pregnant women. I really don’t get this one. I mean, I know it’s the beautiful miracle of life and all of that, but honestly - who the fuck jacks off to pictures like these:

But that’s just the tip of the iceberg - let’s get to some action. After all, as any devoted Maiesiophiliac would tell you: “If they’re already pregnant, they must like to fuck!” You’d think even the grungiest of porn chicks would lay off on the gang bangs while a new life is growing inside them - but alas, you would do so with naive optimism:

I mean, I guess Mom has to pay for diapers and formula somehow, but you really have to wonder about the future of the poor children inside these bellies. While most expectant mothers are picking out cribs and going to lamaze class and trying to take care of themselves, some responsible future mommies are getting paid to let skeezy porn chicks tickle Junior’s head:

Honestly, that just can’t be good for the baby.

At pregnantstore.com, you’ll find a disturbingly wide variety of movies involving both pregnant women and lactation - like these gems starring incredibly creepy older men who love to drink breast milk:

If that’s all a little too vanilla for your pregnant porn needs, you might try Xtreme Pregnant Bondage, where preggo chicks are tied up, whipped, gagged, and clamped:

So next time you’re thinking that maybe abortion should be illegal, think of the babies who would honestly be a lot better off dangling from a coat hanger than they would being raised by some of the mommies you’ve just witnessed. Happy Mother’s Day, everyone!

04.14.06

Masters of Mess: The Pie’d Pipers of the Internet

By Ali

I’ll admit it, I’m a pig. I love food, I love eating, and I especially love desserts. Chocolate-covered strawberries, coconut custard pies, cheesecakes, you name it and I probably want to shove that shit down my throat. The pleasure I get from food comes solely from eating it, however. At no point in time do I feel the need to strip down and apply the foodstuffs to my body.

Enter MessyFun and MessyChixxx, sites dedicated to people covering themselves with various sloppy, messy, disgusting substances, the most popular of which appears to be whipped-cream pies. Yes, the very pies popularized by slapstick clown acts that have delighted children for years are now delighting creepy old men.

I’ll be perfectly honest here: If someone came up to me and said “Hey Ali, we’ll pay you $5,000 if you sat around in a bikini and we photographed people throwing pies at you,” I’d do it in a goddamn heart-beat. It’s a weird fetish, but it doesn’t strike me as completely repulsive, and in fact it almost seems fun, albeit in a completely non-erotic way.

There’s nothing funnier than a woman that’s all dressed up, smushing a pie in her face. It’s so absurd. If you’re all dressed up, why are you going to ruin your getup with pie? Unless she got dressed up specifically to pie herself in style, which is entirely within the realm of possibility.

I am at a loss in finding a way that this picture could ever stir someone’s loins.

And what happens when two mess aficionados fall in love? Naturally, they have a messy wedding! The site says that “When the ceremony is over, Joey instigates some trouble and everyone ends up completely covered — and topless — in mud.” Classy.

Alright this is pretty cool. If I had a French maid at my disposal, I’d probably pay her a little extra if she’d let me throw pies at her because, come on, it looks pretty funny!

This reminds me of a story. A few years back I knew a few dominatrices, and one of the stories told to me was the story of a man who had a pie fetish. He would request that a cart of pies be brought in, of all types, and he asked the dominatrices to slowly recite the name of the pie, then throw it at his fully clothed body. If it was key lime pie, she had to say “Key lime pie!” before throwing it at his face. He said that the naming of the pie was absolutely essential for him to get off. Go figure.

A homage to Nickelodeon: Green slime!

Finally, this is the happiest pie-covered girl I have ever seen in my life.

Many thanks to windy city for the link!