04.07.06
Burning Desires: Sticking Things In Your Peehole For Fun And Profit
A number of years ago, a dingy, long-haired redneck roadie told me a story of a video he’d seen - he swore to his grave on its existence, and for me it’s been a sort of Holy Grail of bizarre internet videos ever since. The content of the video involved a small chihuahua mounting a man’s cock and fucking the man’s urethra with the dog’s tiny dick. A little dog fucking a man’s peehole. When you think about it, it’s absolutely amazing. It’s that type of perverse creativity that fascinates me into making a site like this one. There’s something about the pursuit of sexual gratification that drives people to the utmost extremes of human behavior.
My point is that for some people - men in particular - there comes a time when jacking off just isn’t enough. I suppose it’s a sort of domino effect, starting with some innocent fingering of the butthole, and ending, somewhere down the line, in the hospital. The particular example of this I’ll be discussing today is a last resort of the desperately horny. When other things just aren’t quite cutting it, these people seek pleasure… from their peeholes.
The urethra, unlike other orifices, is strictly designed for one-way activity. There’s no negotiating that - it’s the way things are. I’m not ashamed to admit that at one point in my life I’ve had the infamous STD test which involves the doctor sticking a Q-Tip into your urethra. I learned two very important things from that test: One - I don’t have chlamydia. Two - inserting an object into your peehole HURTS LIKE A MOTHERFUCK. It does. It really hurts. Things aren’t supposed to be in there, and your body has a rather dramatic way of telling you that. But such things are small obstacles to those determined to find new ways of pleasuring themselves - you see, for a growing number of people, inserting objects into the urethra is all kinds of fun.
In the darkest corners of the internet, you’ll find guys sticking all sorts of objects into their pee tubes. For example…
Forks (ouch):
Razors (ouch):
Vegetables (ouch):
Cell phone antennas (OUCH):
Even high heels (OOOUUUUUCH!):
But it’s not just men who get in on the fun. One video I encountered shows a woman getting fucked in her urethra. Yes, a (debatably) full-sized penis penetrating a hole so small most girls don’t even know it’s there. If you’re torrent-savvy you can download the clip, but otherwise here’s a screen cap:
A little difficult to make out, but it’s there. The dick is in the peehole, while the fingers inhabit the vagina. Fucking brutal.
If you have any doubts on the dangers of urethral insertion, I suggest watching this video, which highlights some fantastic medical cases like an Italian man shoving uncooked pasta up his peepee, and a modern-day Romeo presenting his lover with a beautiful flower… stuck in his wang.
But if you’re determined to ignore the warnings and frig your piss tunnel until it bleeds, then I suggest hopping over to Wartenbert Wheel, where you’ll find some exciting stainless steel products specifically designed for urethral insertion.
Oh, I almost forgot - I leave you with the most horrifying urethral invasion I’ve ever encountered - click the thumbnail to watch the video clip, and prepare to curl up in horror:
