10.02.06
By Rob
Suffice to say, nothing we could dig up for the site this week could possibly be as grotesque as Republican Representative Mark Foley’s instant message creepfest with an underage boy (although this comes pretty damned close). But a little detail in the colorful Foley transcript caught my eye, and it gave me an idea for a nice, topical entry for Population Paste. See? This site counts as current events.
In the chat heard round the world, Foley’s teenage victim mentions he has an inexplicable arousal to girls wearing casts. Foley considers this a bit strange, which is an interesting assertion from a fifty year old man who just asked his teenage page what he does with his spooge towel after he jacks off. As it turns out, the kid is far from alone in getting a chubby at the sight of a girl all wrapped up in plaster - a large group of cast fetishists have carved out a comfy niche in cyberspace, where they look at photos of girls in casts, write stories about girls in casts, and draw pictures of girls in casts.
This is another one I just don’t get. Maybe it’s because I spent a whole summer in a full leg cast once, so I can say with some authority that it sucks beyond my ability to describe. There is nothing fun or sexy about it - the only upside was getting sponge baths from sympathetic girls, since you can’t shower like a normal human. Otherwise, breaking your limbs and, more significantly, the many months of agonizing recovery that follow, is a horrendous experience. But that seems to be part of the appeal to cast fetishists. One blogger, Krista, apparently began innocently documenting an extensive injury she suffered, only to find cast fetishists leaping on the pictures she posted by the hundreds. Her posted response sums the matter up pretty nicely.
But enough admonishment, let’s get to the pictures! As with similar fetishes like the whole amputee thing, cast porn rarely even qualifies as actual porn, since most of the models are fully clothed - which, of course, only adds to the weirdness. You’d have a much easier time talking me into this if there were at least naked chicks involved, but more often it’s just helpless girls trying to get through their day-to-day life while wearing various casts. Sometimes that means going to the park and riding the teeter-totter with a full head cast:
Cast Fetish and FantaCast seem to be the two biggest casting sites - on the sample pictures page you’ll get an idea of what kind of images people pay money to see. Note the eerie and universal use of acronyms to describe different types of casts, such as SLC (short leg cast) and LATS (long arm…. something that starts with a t… cast). Note also that these girls haven’t actually even injured themselves, they’ve just been paid to put on casts and hobble around for the camera.
At least at Gips Dreams there is some nudity every now and then. Not that it helps inch any of this any closer to being sexy:
Indeed, the chances of finding any actual injured girls who would be willing to exploit their misery for the sake of lonely niche masturbators is pretty slim - thankfully the seriously disturbed individuals at Cast Central regularly scour the web for candid photos of actual teenage girls who have actually broken their bones - then steal said photos and make them available for their paying members to jack off to. That’s perverse enough even to make Mark Foley proud.
Not to be outdone, Cast Fetish volleys back with its stunningly shameless contributions page, where fans of the site send in their own candid snapshots of strangers they happen to see with casts on. There is even a little photo documentary of a young girl breaking her ankle playing soccer, with the caption “Nothing like the feeling, or sound of your ankle breaking. I was about 20 feet away and heard it.” Wow. Nice to know your little bald soldier can stand to attention at the sound of a girl’s bone cracking, you twisted fuck.
As with all fringe fetishes, the cast fetish brings with it a delightful assortment of terrible artwork - and as you know, that’s one of our favorite things here at Population Paste. Cast Fetish has a large art gallery, which runs the gamut from bad pencil sketches like this one:
To full 3D renderings like these:
My favorites, though, are from a series of illustrations depicting sad girls laid up in elaborate casts, accompanied by little stories that detail their pain and misery. Usually their casting has them conveniently stuck in a sexual position, like this girl whose injuries required that her hand be positioned between her legs, and that she regularly exercise the fingers of said hand to avoid muscle atrophy. Riiiiiight:
I like how the doctor was kind enough to leave a little window for her boobs. You know, so they can breathe.
Oddly, a lot of girls in these drawings manage to have very specific injuries which require them to be positioned with their legs spread wide open. Huh! Imagine that!
If all the custom photo shoots, art galleries, candid shots, and stories aren’t quite enough for your casting needs, Plaster Of Paradise (great name) has an extensive gallery of casts in movies and TV. Like these overwhelmingly erotic stills from an episode of Laverne & Shirley where the hapless Laverne breaks her leg and comedic hijacks ensue:
Ooooh yeah, that’s hot. Just try to walk, Laverne! Just try! You can’t, can you?? Ooooh, you’re so sexy when you’re helpless.
Casting has also entered the “blogosphere,” as the kids call it: Cast World has the same mindless ramblings and excessive YouTube linking you’ve come to expect from blogs, but this time it’s all about casts. The most recent entry excitedly points readers to the latest addition to Apple’s clever anti-PC ad campaign, which has The Daily Show’s John Hodgman - aka the PC - looking mighty sexy in a delicious left arm SAC, a sultry left leg LLC, and a titillating right arm LAC - ooooh baby! The cast-enamored blogger comments:
“Irregardless of what computer you turn on each night, at least one thing in this add is clear for cast lovers everywhere, Mac is certainly the runner up here!”
Riiiiiiight.
Since being in a cast is so fun and sexy, I’m going to offer a free service to any cast-a-holics who want to “live the dream,” so to speak. Come see me and for absolutely no charge, I will smash your kneecap with a sledgehammer until it is little more than a formless mess of bone fragments. Sounds painful, I know, but think of the bright side - you’ll get to spend months and months in a shiny new LLC, just like I did! Well, what are you waiting for?
While I’m at it, here’s some of my own personal cast porn - this is me right after taking off my LLC - pretty hot, huh?
It smelled, too. Real bad.
How’s that boner coming along?
09.13.06
By Rob
Since Ali blackened my soul in ways I thought previously unimaginable with her most recent entry, I decided I’m not even going to try and compete. In fact, what I bring for you today doesn’t even involve any nudity, let alone millipedes crawling in and out of urethras. No, today I bring you a light-heartedly weird fetish from the fringes of sexuality: The crush fetish.
According to the bastion of useful knowledge that is Wikipedia, a crush fetish is “a paraphilia which primarily consists of the desire to see others (generally members of the opposite sex) crush inanimate objects or small creatures.” I was aware of this fetish in regards to the crossroads between foot fetishism and femdom where men like to be trampled on by dominating females, often with high heels or bare feet. And yeah, I suppose that’s weird, but in the scope of things, it’s not that weird. What is weird is the inanimate object side of crushing/trampling, which was brought to my attention via an anonymous submission of a site called tube crushing.
Tubecrushing.com is your one-stop shop for all things related to an absurdly specific corner of the crushing fetish which relates exclusively to “stomping and squizing [sic] every drop of liquid mass out of tubes.” This means - you guessed it - high heels squeezing toothpaste tubes:
Personally I like the ketchup-squirting action - I suppose this is the tube-crushing equivalent of the cumshot:
When I saw all of this, I honestly thought it was a joke. I thought maybe someone was satirizing fringe fetishes and made it as a parody. But further research led me to see cucumber crushing on hercruelfeet.com:
…and violent teddy bear massacres on crushmovies.com:
…and point-of-view crushing at antatheka.de:
…and my eventual concession that not only is this fetish for real, but it’s surprisingly extensive.
There’s a lot of crushing of miniature people - Ken dolls and the like - because somewhere along the line crush fetishism intersects with the whole giantess aspect of macrophilia. Seriously, someone needs to build a family tree of obscure fetishes, because this shit gets confusing. I think I’ll save the giantess shit for another day, because it has produced enough bad Photoshopping to be worthy of its own entry - consider this sample, in which a giant woman rises from the sea Godzilla style to reclaim her pumps, which seem to have been mistaken for WMDs and confiscated by the US military:
Oh, and in case you were wondering: Yes, crush fetish occasionally deviates into the crushing of actual small creatures, although most of the crush community thankfully won’t tolerate it. There is, however, some pretty nasty snail crushing on crushmovies.com:
And to this I say: FUCK YOU, creature crushers! Have your little fringe fetish fun with toothpaste tubes and balloon animals, but leave Goddamn innocent critters out of it - yeah, even snails.
Anyway, what I like about the inanimate object crushing fetish is that as far as porn goes, it’s very economical. While mainstream pornographers have spend at least a few dollars to hire trailer trash junkie girls with low self esteem who will let a dirty old man ram a cock down their throat until they puke while two big black dicks are mining their colon, creating crush porn is quick, easy, and chances are you already have everything you need to get started!
To prove this, I decided to make my very own crush porn gallery and hope that the crush fetishists of the world will approve of my work. Since I have an absurd amount of miniature things, I’m the perfect candidate for a new crush pornographer. I just gathered together some things from around the house, and asked a couple of the many hot sluts who regularly come over simply for the privilege of servicing my dick if I could briefly borrow their feet - and ten minutes later, I have a highly erotic collection of crush porn images.
This inaugural series in what is sure to be a long and prosperous career in crush porn focuses on merciless giant women who squish the life from helpless pop culture icons with their mighty high heels. So, who’s our first victim?
It’s-a-him, Mario! Mama Mia!
Oh no, Beaker! Nooooooo!
Even the Last Son Of Krypton is no might for our ruthless giantess!
Watch the poor Xenomorph struggle under the weight of crushing high heels! Ooooh yeah that’s hot stuff!
Roboto is pinned down! Where’s He-Man when you need him? Fuck, these pictures are sexy!
The merciless foot of doom does what the Turtles never could, and squishes the evil Krang like a bug! Yeah, baby, oh yeah, crush that little alien brain creature!
Oh fuck, not Mark Mothersbaugh! SPARE MARK MOTHERSBAUGH!!
Admiral Ackbar! The rebellion will crumble without you!
Oh man, I’m getting really hot, and it’s hard to type with one hand, so I think that’s enough for now. For my first foray into crush porn, I’d say I hit a home run, no?
Seriously though, if any actual crush fetishists have stumbled upon this page and actually found the above photos arousing and have as a result engaged in auto-erotic stimulation while viewing the above photos, PLEASE e-mail us and tell us about your experience. It would make a great follow-up report.
Posted in
inanimate objects at 2:26 am
05.07.06
By Ali
One of the best parts about running Population Paste is the educational experience that comes with it, and the expanded vocabulary that one can only get by actively seeking out this nonsense. Today’s word is “looner,” which is slang for a balloon fetishist. Yeah you read that right, balloons. The same ones you knew and loved from your childhood. Those balloons are now being humped by men and women across the globe, who squeal with glee when their latex lovers pop.
Here’s a rather cute dame from balloooons getting her kicks out of nearly, but not quite, popping a balloon:
I gleaned most of my information about looners from Deviant Desires, which explains the two main camps in the looner community, the poppers and non-poppers. As it explains:
For many looners, the primary jolt of sexual arousal comes from the fear/anticipation/shock of a balloon popping. Looners divide themselves up into occasionally contentious camps around the issue of “to pop or not to pop.” Non-poppers sometimes say that they “just want to give the balloon a chance” whereas for poppers, if the balloon doesn’t pop, neither do they.
I’m not sure what giving “the balloon a chance” really means so I’ll just take their word for it that giving a balloon a chance to not be popped is erotic. So now that we’ve got that squared away, let’s get to the pictures! I found a lot of good stuff at ballon-porn-fetish.
I’m not really sure if I fully understand the balloon fetish but I think part of the fun is watching a girl inflate a balloon really big, and the real fun comes in the surprise of not knowing when it’s going to pop, and what her reaction is going to be. I’m not sure WHY that’s erotic but I guess that’s why I’m not a looner.
There are also the surreal vintage balloon fetish site, and gay looners such as Buster who take pictures of themselves pressing large balloons against their groins.
And how can you have a balloon fetish without actually buying the balloons? Of of the more impressive sites that specifically caters to balloon fetishists is BigBoysBalloons, which features some rather impressive images. Here’s one:
Special thanks to dirty hippie Clayton for reminding me that balloon fetishists exist.
04.27.06
By Ali
I would like to preface this entry by saying that Rob drew the above picture, and it fills me with profound sadness about the state of man.
The subject of this entry is stuffed animals, or “plushies” in the furry colloquial, and the people who love them in the Biblical sense. These “plushophiles,” perhaps fueled by the warm memories of comfort, cuddling with their stuffed animals as children, now happily hump away on their Gund bears and Pound Puppies.
In my eternal hunt for filth I came across a forum about fucking plushies. One guy, who apparently lacks a very important emotion known as shame, had this to say:
My roommate caught me yiffing a plush in my bedroom when he didn’t knock. I told him “That what you get for just walking in my room.” Then I continued my yiffing. He was embarrassed and I was not.
Male plushophiles will often alter their favorite stuffed animal, adding little pink pouches to fuck. I can just picture a plushophile sitting in his bedroom, surrounded by hundreds of stuffed wolves, frantically sewing a little pink satin pouch in the crotch of one of his toys while grinning and imagining his greasy little cock sliding into it.
While most of the pictures of plushies I could find were obviously intended to be used by males, that’s not to say there are no female plushies. Not by a long shot. Check this out, and get back to me on whether or not your life will be the same again.
And now you may be wondering: Golly gee, where can I find these anatomically correct plushies? If you want a plushie that you can yiff to your heart’s content, one place to find them is Furbid, a furry eBay full of treasures like this:
As always, a loveable option is available. I offer two types of SPH’s, a bag style and a hole style…
…Raven comes with her own pair of sexy matching panties for only $5!
And for those who want some soft velvety penises on their lovetoys, Pacifictrades carries a wide array of stuffed animals that rock out with their cocks out.
I really wish I was making this entry up entirely and those Pepe le Pew pics were something out of my imagination, but other people can see them too so I am going to go cry in my pillow for a while.
Posted in
furry,
inanimate objects at 1:27 pm
04.20.06
By Ali
When Jimi Hendrix died, the world lost a great guitarist. Up until today though, I was unaware of an even greater loss to humanity: Jimi’s gigantic cock.
Fortunately for us, Cynthia P Caster had the amazing foresight to preserve his penis in plaster for all eternity, and you can buy a copy of it for $1,500! It’s detailed too, right down to the wrinkles on his sack and the pencil-sized vein running along the side.
As to why Cynthia got started making penis casts, read on:
Cynthia Plaster Caster began making plaster casts of rock stars’ erect penises in 1968. Begun originally as a goof, and as a way to meet the idols of her affection, the project has consumed the last 35 years of her life. Rock stars, their roadies, their managers as well as other peripheral players central to the rock scene have been cast in varying degrees of glory and arousal. In an ironic twist of fate, Cynthia’s fame now eclipses some of the names she once stooped to immortalize in plaster. As if erect penises were not enough, in 2000 she began casting breasts as well.
She now makes casts of rockstar schlong to raise money for charity, giving money to musicians and artists in need. It’s a really strange way to raise money, but in all honesty I’m fucking sold on it. I think owning a cast of Clint Mansell’s (of Pop Will Eat Itself fame) huge fucking moosecock would be pretty awesome. I mean it’s only $750 and I like his music, and I also enjoy creeping out my guests, so what better way to do it than by plopping a plaster copy of Clint’s crooked meat log on the coffee table? And as an added bonus, whenever rivetheads come over to visit I could point it out and I’d get like a million scene points because Clint Mansell’s cock is industrial as fuck. In all its glory:
There’s also a lot of other musician cocks she’s got that I’m not particularly familiar with, probably because I mostly listen to faggy synth shit and people banging on pots and pans, but check out this stumpy beast belonging to a dude called Momus:
Can’t get enough plaster of penis? You can buy sets!
And she does boobs too! She did Peaches‘ peaches and they came out pretty lopsided, but I would still consider buying them and maybe putting magnets on the backs and sticking them on my fridge. I could use them to hold up the grocery list and shit!
Honestly, if I were a rockstar I’d be so down with this. That could be because I have no sense of shame, but I’d like to think it’s because I want to help poor musicians. Cynthia P Caster, if you ever decide to do molds of the tits of obscure webmasters then let me know ok?
Thanks to Garrett for the link, and if anyone wants to know what to get me for Christmas then look no further.
Posted in
inanimate objects at 1:09 am
04.16.06
By Ali
Ever since I was a kid I’ve been an avid fan of masturbation. Before I was old enough to go out and buy vibrators, I had to find various other ways to keep my clit happy. One of my first loves was the Squiggle Wiggle writer, a partner that got me through middle school. Back then I thought my use of the Squiggle Wiggle writer was unique, but today’s site has let me know I was not alone.
My Masturbation is full of tales of jacking off. They offer various tips and tricks, and they suggest things that I would never have thought of on my own. The vast majority of these I won’t be trying any time soon. Sadly, the site contains no pictures or illustrated diagrams, so you’ll have to use your imagination.
First, some masturbation tips from the ladies. Here’s one involving one of my favorite childhood toys: Homemade Playdoh!
Make homemade playdoh (the recipe can be found at almost every kid’s website) and put it in a Ziploc bag as soon as it’s done, while it’s still warm. Lay the bag on the floor and hump it hard. Forming it into a large ball helps because pushing down into it will make it mold to fill in all around your clit and the warmth gives you an almost instant orgasm.
And masturbating with doors!
Grab the handles of your door knob and grasp the door between your legs while pushing up on the door at the same time and you will get the most amazing feeling!
I had a hard time envisioning how exactly this worked until I recalled a video of a woman humping a door. It is kind of scary.
I’m putting this one in only because of the stunning use of “the joy of Cola” at the end.
Take a 2 liter filled up pop and shake it very hard. Then put it under your pussy and take off the cap and let it explode all over your pussy, and feel the joy of cola…..
For the gentlemen, there is a good amount of information on how to fuck meat! It offers no tips on how to avoid salmonella, but if you’re desperate enough to fuck your brisket then salmonella is probably the least of your worries.
I like to go into the woods, finding someplace secluded with my dog. I take her for a walk. I carry with me a big beef stick that I have cut a hole in. I drop my pants and shorts and slip my cock into the hole. I like to sit down on top of a log and spread my legs wide, and slowly thrust my hips into the beef stick pussy. My dog is good for alerting me if someone is coming. I like to take my time doing this. I enjoy a prolonged tease before orgasm.
The grease from the beef stick makes a wonderful lube and I get great suction, for the stick makes a tight fit and is longer than my cock. I stop every now and then to taste my juices and lick the stick. It tastes very good. Then when I cum I lick the sperm from the stick.
I love how this guy felt it necessary to mention that he eats his own sperm. It’s as if he thought fucking beef stick wasn’t creepy enough, and he had to further disturb people by letting them know he eats cum off of beef and enjoys it.
I tried my best to find a picture of some dude fucking meat, but the best I could find was a chick with sausage in her tits. It happens to be a pretty good picture though, so I thought I should share!
And for those with a taste for baked goods…
I enjoy masturbating with a nice French roll. Open up the French roll then add any type of lubricant you can think of! Fold the roll around your cock and hump away. I’ve used many lubricants but what really gets me going is ketchup, that way I can pretend that I am popping that nice tight pussy for the first time!!!!! NICE
As if the meat and bread wasn’t enough, here’s a whole “odd” section as well. I can just picture some fucked up old metalhead doing this:
Now this might be kind of hard but it works. Grease your hair (really). Works best with long hair — and yes, the hair on your head. Then bend down REALLY FAR. Stick your cock in your hair put on some rock music and head bang. This is the most maximum pleasure ever!
Finally, this is… well.. I don’t know what to say.
Head over to Party City and buy a pair of those inflatable feet. They are usually really big. Inflate it until almost full, but you can bend it a little. Now fold it in half so that the place where you put your foot in is sticking up. You should have formed two holes now. Lube them both and stick your dick right in. I like doing this when looking in the mirror. I get off so damn fast. Sometimes I rub oil on my nipples. I explode everywhere and my hard throbbing cock is still asking for more.
And because it is topical and I don’t think he’s been embarrassed about it enough, I’d like to remind everyone that Rob likes to fuck beer can vaginas.
Thanks to Dana for the link!
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