05.20.06
By Rob
The title of this post pretty much says it all: Buck Angel is a man with a pussy. Or, more technically speaking, Buck Angel is a transsexual former woman who has gone to great lengths to look as overly masculine as possible, but kept the ol’ vagina perfectly in tact. Yes, the person in these pictures is female, biologically speaking - but the miracles of surgery and hormone therapy have transformed her into more of a man than I’ll ever be. And what do you do with your life when you’ve turned into a boy but kept your girl bits? Naturally, you become a porn star.
Buck Angel is the self-proclaimed “first and only female-to-male transsexual porn star.” Seeing him/her/it in action is kind of like the visual equivalent of patting your head and rubbing your belly: Your brain just can’t quite process what’s going on. Something about the Lobo-esque comic masculinity of muscles and tattoos and a handlebar mustache make it ever so much more disturbing when your eyes pan down to where the twig ‘n berries ought to be, and instead find a weird, bald, giant-clitted mangina in their place:
The sad thing is, penis or no penis, he could totally kick my ass.
Buck’s internet empire spans not one, but three websites: his/her/its official site, his/her/its pay site, and his/her/its blog site. On the official site you’ll find The Buck Store, where you can purchase Mr. Angel’s many feature films, including Buck Fever, Buck’s Beaver, More Bang For Your Buck, and of course, The Adventures Of Buck Naked (Director’s Cut).
And, best of all? For a mere five dollars you can own this beautiful 8×10, signed by Buck himself:
I’d be interested to know what type of person considers Buck Angel enough of a hero to actually order this and display it in their home. I’m guessing it’s not a pretty sight.
Thanks to McGeek for the link.
04.30.06
By Rob
Yesterday we began a look into the world of mpreg - male pregnancy. When I was originally sent this link, I figured it certainly must be one of the only sites devoted to such an odd fetish. As usual, my wishful thinking was just that. It seems that the mpreg empire spreads as far and wide as a man’s anus pushing out a baby, and thus demanded two posts to thoroughly explore it. So please, make sure you’ve seen part one, and then please continue:
As with any imaginary fetish, there tends to be a lot of artistic representations of male pregnancy. Most of them, as you’ve seen, come in the form of Photoshop manipulations, but I did enjoy these adorably primitive drawings from this site:
My first thought was “I really hope a kid drew those,” and then I realized that would mean a child was drawing pictures of naked pregnant men, so I revised my thought to “I hope a limbless retard drew those with his teeth.” And even then, they’re still not very good.
Thankfully, someone else has put a great deal more effort into the graphic representations of pregnant men. In fact, he’s created an entire comic book.
Power Man, a strange fusion of manipulated photos and MS Paint, follows the adventures of a superhero who becomes impregnated by his arch nemesis, The Purple Jester.
The creator of these comics, who goes by “Belly577″ and, I assume, is also playing the role of Power Man, seems to have a shared fetish for pregnant men and spandex. And really, when the results are this sexy, who can blame him?
You can find more of his work and the complete Power Man archives over at his Yahoo Group.
Still, of all the fantastic mpreg material on the web, my absolute favorite is BSB-and-PopMPregFics, a Yahoo Group devoted solely to stories about members of ‘N Sync and The Backstreet Boys getting pregnant. Sometimes these stories include graphic male-on-male boyband buggery, but mostly it’s just two of them, as lovers, dealing with their impending pregnancy. It’s about love, really.
A particularly epic tale entitled “Two In A Million” comes with the following summary: “JC and Lance are brought together by fate, but JC has a secret. How will Lance react when he finds out? Will they make it?” Well, I don’t know if they make it or not, because I couldn’t even begin to make it through twenty pages of Backdoor Boys erotic action - but I will give you a sampling:
He could see the fantasy now. His son would be beautiful. He would have of course the dark curls or would he have Lance’s straighter hair? Josh hoped whatever the outcome was the boy would have Lance’s apple green eyes. What if it was girl? Would she have JC’s smile or the same slight dimple in her right cheek as Lance? For the first time in a long time he wanted to use his ability to bear children instead of wishing it away.
In another story, “We’re Having A Baby,” boyband lovers Kevin Richardson and Howie Dorough discuss an experimental surgery which could finally bring them their own bun in the oven:
Kevin could feel Howie’s hands stroking his hair. “I know. Elective surgery always seems crazy to some people. Like getting a nose job or whatever. But I want to have a baby. It’s like it came to me in a dream. Maybe God was sending me a message. I don’t know, Kevin. I just know I really want to do this.”
Kevin sighed in resignation. “Okay, sugar. You’ve obviously got your mind made up. But the surgery isn’t reversible, is it? I mean, you’d be doing something to your body you’d have to live with forever. Isn’t that so?”
Howie nodded. “Yeah, once it’s there, it’s there.” He giggled. “Why would I go through all the trouble to get a uterus and then decide to take it out?”
If you’re a guy and the thought of Backstreet Boys pooping out children has got you all tickled pink, it’s probably time for you to start your own pregnancy. On the cybermalepregnancy Yahoo Group, men can start a virtual fantasy pregnancy experience with another man or woman. Find a cyberdaddy to impregnate you, find a cyber ob/gyn to monitor your baby, and then have a cyberbirth! “Todd” is looking for someone to help him deliver his baby:
Are there any people in the DFW, Texas area who would like to roleplay in person. I’m an attractive, SWM who has labored and birthed at home by myself several times. I accomplish this through the use of an expandable butt plug which I push out. Now I’m ready to share the experience with others…Looking for females and/or males to serve as my OB, coach and nursing staff. In turn, I would be willing to return the favor with those that help me with my labor… I love all things dealing with pregnancy and birth and enjoy watching videos which deal with those subjects. Would very much like to meet some people in person who share my pregnancy/birthing fantasies…Please respond.
Do you think he draws a little baby face on the butt plug so it seems more like a real infant when it comes out? Then his “doctor” wipes all of the smelly butt-slime off of his silicone baby, wraps it in a blanket, and hands it to him? Do you think he lays there, his ass sore and bleeding, coddling his smelly butt plug and telling it he loves it? I wasn’t able to get a photo of Todd’s beautiful baby, but I did create a mock-up of what it probably looks like:
Isn’t he adorable? The message board is full of all kinds of eerie windows into peoples’ fucked-up lives, like this message from “Jack”:
Cool group. My wife is pregnant by her black lover (in her 8th month now). She started bringing him home and fucking him in front of me. Now he fucks me in the ass as well. He tells me his seed is so powerful that even I might get pregnant (LOL). Love to hear more about everyone’s experiences.
“LOL! :D My wife’s silly black lover says the funniest things about his powerful seed while he fucks me in the ass! ROTFL!!” …I’ve always said that certain people just shouldn’t be allowed to breed. Jack has done an excellent job of validating my opinion.
Well, now you’ve seen how much fun male pregnancy can be - so boys, if you’re ready to start your nine month miracle, look no further than The Empathy Belly® Pregnancy Simulator. This clever device allows men to have all the sensations of being pregnant - even the baby kicking! It’s the perfect thing to wear while you jack off thinking about giving rectal birth.
And me? I just spent over an hour of my saturday looking at pictures of pregnant dudes. Awesome.
04.29.06
By Rob
Men have it pretty easy. We don’t have to bleed out of our genitals, we don’t have to get pap smears, and we don’t have to worry about getting knocked up. Women can rattle on about the miracle of life that only they can experience and yadda yadda yadda, but at the end of the day I’m pleased as punch that I won’t ever have to crave chocolate-covered pickles with mango sauce for nine months while I grow a little miniature human in my stomach and then painfully squeeze him out of a hole in my body half the size of the slimy little bugger’s head. But again, that’s just me. For some people, the idea of men getting pregnant isn’t just novel - it’s downright sexy. Enter the fetish of male pregnancy, or “mpreg” as it’s affectionately abbreviated.
Since male pregnancy is, of course, not possible, mpreggers rely on stories, role-playing, and bad Photoshop work to facilitate their strange forbidden desires. In the role-playing department, no one beats Lil Janelle, a cross-dresser with a flair for pregnancy simulation. Please click that link and enjoy his photos. I’d love to post them here, but he has a very stern warning on the bottom of his page:
Any person who reproduces, modifies, copies, distributes, or displays any photo from this web site without the written permission from the web designer agrees to pay the web designer a usage fee of ONE MILLION dollars for each item used on or in a public area and TWO MILLION dollars for each item used on or in a pay to view area in addition to
ALL legal costs incurred by both parties in the collection of said usage fees.
WHOA. I guess being pregnant really does make you cranky. When I read that warning I can’t help but picture a pregnant Dr. Evil, rubbing his belly with his pinky to his lips, saying “One MILLION dollars! Mwahahahaha!” Don’t worry, dude. No one’s going to steal your precious faux-pregnancy photos. But that doesn’t mean we can’t laugh at them.
If you’re not ambitious enough to dress up like a pregnant woman, and Photoshopped images like the one above aren’t quite your thing, you might want some realistic stories about pregnant men to sizzle your loins. At He’s Pregnant, you’ll find a number of erotic tales about men suddenly becoming preggers - sometimes from magical potions, sometimes from maniacal science experiments, and sometimes via good ol’ fashioned immaculate conception. In The Joe Luck Club, a magic potion from a Chinese herb shop gets Joe unexpectedly knocked up, and the horny boys in the shower room of his health club have taken notice:
Watching the guy masturbate excited Joe. His erection stuck straight up into the air. “Do your titties give milk,” asked the guy as he rapidly beat his meat? “Sure do,” responded Joe as he began to stroke his own dick. “Wanna see.” Joe began to pull on his nipples like he was milking a cow. “Come on babe,” said the guy, “milk those titties for Papa.” “Yeah milk those titties for me.” The guy soon shot his load all over Joe. He quickly washed up and left the shower leaving Joe all alone.
The stories inevitably lead to the men giving birth, although there seems to be some debate amongst mpreg erotic fiction writers as to whether men give birth from their penis or their ass. The penis method is slightly more amusing - here’s another excerpt from the mpreg classic, The Joe Luck Club:
The spasms in his stomach began to come faster and faster causing him to lie down on the bed. His penis was now as wide as his hips and the end was leaking. Suddenly he felt a spasm in his penis, then another.
He felt a sharp pain in his penis. He thought his penis was going to explode. He looked down and saw the head of a baby coming out of the end.
My favorite story, though, is Make Womb For Vijay, a tale of an Indian man’s struggles with his newfound pregnancy. After a mysterious professor gives Vijay a strange suppository, he begins noticing odd changes in his body which suggest he might be pregnant. His first reaction? He plays with his butthole:
I lightly touched my flaring butt lips and was surprised at the feeling I received. It was fantastic. I put down the mirror, got down on my knees, and began to massage my anus. I could not believe the feeling. I began to massage it more aggressively. In response my penis began to dribble lubricant. I began to tug on one of my nipples. The feeling that ensued was fantastic. I was surprised when I said aloud, “give me milk titties, give me milk.”
“Give me milk, titties, give me milk,” might just be my favorite new quote. Vijay’s newfound pleasure leads to a lot of graphically-described adventures with shampoo bottles, as apparently when a man gets pregnant he desperately wants to shove things up his ass and milk his tits. But Vijay begins to realize that he might have to tone down his frantic rump-ramming for the sake of the child inside him:
My anus now screamed to be filled. I put my fingers in again, but that only made it want more. I remembered the shampoo bottle. “What did I have with me that was like that shampoo bottle,” I wondered. I dug through the small satchel that I had brought with me. I didn’t have a shampoo bottle that was big enough, but I did have a bottle of bismuth that I used for diarrhoea. I sat the bottle on a tall mossy rock and squatted over it. My penis shot a mighty load of semen as I impaled myself on the bottle. But my anus was not yet ready to orgasm. It wanted more stimulation. I slid up and down on the bismuth bottle like a madman. Suddenly, and without warning an orgasm came. An orgasm that was so strong my whole body shook. Milk was now pouring out of my nipples and the baby in my belly was kicking intensely. The kicking became so strong that I worried that I had hurt my child. I immediately used my sphincter to eject the bottle from my anus. I rubbed my belly to soothe my restless child. Instead of being aroused by touching my swollen abdomen, I felt a peace in touching it. My child’s comfort now came before my own pleasure.
Eventually he comes to the realization that he is the chosen one, the man who will give birth and undo a curse which has taken away the fertility of his people. At the end of the story, Vijay poops out babies:
“Push Vijay, push,” says my uncle. I feel another head pass out of my body. “Push,” says my uncle. “Push.” I painfully contract my abdomen again. This time the baby passes out of my body with little difficulty. “Three babies,” I say not believing it. “Yes, Vijay,” responds my uncle. “Yes.” He and the attendants say a prayer. “Did you know about this,” I ask between heavy breathing? “Yes,” he responds, “I could feel them.” “We are truly blessed.”
We’re all truly blessed that someone actually wrote that story. I encourage you to read the whole thing and cry a little for humanity.
Click here for part two of my epic exposé on the weird world of pregnant men, where we explore a comic book about a pregnant superhero, find out what happens to The Backstreet Boys when they get knocked up, and even give you the opportunity to simulate your own pregnancy. I know you’re as excited as these proud daddies-to-be:
04.27.06
By Rob
Whatever their individual reasons might be, some men are just determined to look like women. The easy, non-permanent solution is, of course, cross-dressing. But when you’re six feet tall with shoulders like a linebacker, all the wigs and high heels in the world aren’t going to hide that manly jawline and five o’clock shadow. Try as they might, some cross-dressers are destined to always just look like dudes wearing wigs.
I can only imagine this is the problem which initially led to “masking” - a fetish/hobby/whatever where cross-dressing men wear rubber masks of feminine faces in an attempt to look like the perfect female. The problem is, these faces are far from perfect. Most of them are downright terrifying.
Maskon seems to be the major hub for masking activity on the internet. You’ll find a lot of links and images there, including a large collection of photo galleries of maskers from around the world. They each go by the invented name of their female pseudonym. At best, they look like a doll come to life. At worst, they look like, well… this:
She kind of looks like what would happen if Joan Rivers and Michael Jackson mated in the pool of toxic chemicals that created The Joker:
Is anyone else wondering in horror why we can see Joan Rivers’ nipple in that picture?
Anyway… Maskon even hosts conventions where maskers can get together, and… I don’t know. Hang around wearing masks, I suppose. The beauty of these self-created masks is that they allow you to not only be the perfect human woman, but even the perfect Martian woman, or the perfect Klingon woman. Check out this group:
At its most elaborate, the fetish extends to a full-body rubber woman suit, as is proudly displayed on angelinadoll.com:
And since I know you were wondering - yes, there are full-on porn sites for the masking fetishist. At Rubber Sisters, a modest membership fee will gain you access to all the hot plastic religious-bondage-themed lesbian-but-not-really girl-on-kindof-girl action you can handle:
With each picture this is starting to feel more and more like the combined wet dreams of Marilyn Manson and David LaChapelle.
If you’re ready for a mask of your own, you can custom-order one here for $125, which is a hell of a lot cheaper than plastic surgery, and damned if the results aren’t more or less the same. I’ve seen plenty of mutant plastic surgery victims walking around Beverly Hills whose faces didn’t look any better the woman on the right here:
Thanks again to Tam for the link.
