07.10.06
By Ali
Alright alright, I admit I’m a horrible person for taking some time off to go on vacation, rock out, and call up Rob while blasted on cheap beer at 1AM to threaten his life (for reasons I can’t quite recall). It was fun, but now it’s back to the old grind. And I know Rob’s been busy too, what with having to fill in as temporary chairperson of his local NAMBLA chapter and all, so please excuse him for that. “So many little boys, so little time,” as the old adage goes, heh.
But enough distractions. I came to bring the pain, hardcore from the internet. And today, pain has taken the form of gigantic furry cocks. And titties. Sometimes on the same creature. Enter Gideon’s Corral.
So there’s this whole macrophile thing, right? It’s a fetish that revolves around amazingly huge things, be they people, furries, or just their genitalia. The above image is a prime example: There’s some sultry sabre-toothed damsel, with cleavage that puts Pandora Peaks to shame, paired with a big furry sheath, and testicles nearly as large as the creature’s breasts. For contrast there is a small… well I don’t know what it is, but it’s furry and snuggled deep in the sabre-tooth’s bosom. And there you have it: It’s like Venus of Willendorf for the 21st century, if only Venus was an intersexed furry.
Now if there’s any one creature renowned for their massive members, it’s the horse. I can’t count the times I’ve referred to a particularly well-endowed, uhh, “gentleman caller” as having a horsecock. With this ill rep, it’s no surprise that horses play a prominent role in Gideon’s art. But rather than having the standard massive horse-sized cock, they have genitals so large and swollen that they’d probably pass out and die from lack of blood to the brain the first time they got an erection.
But this is all fantasy, and in a fantasy world there are no limits to the amount of blood that can be shifted around in one’s bloodstream or the size of one’s genitals. There’s also no limit to what species can be depicted, so here we have two of my favorite mythological beasts getting it on: A beautiful unicorn having her titties licked by a badass red dragon.
Season’s greetings! Here’s a little holiday display from two reindeer.
This was one of the more perplexing images on the site: A sabre-tooth cat with a cock the size of a leg, tormenting a guy going to a keg party? I don’t get it.
Back to the horse theme! Here’s a picture of a clydesdale clearing out the red light district with a blast of semen:
… and here he is doing some freelance demolition work:
Now I’d like to go on record saying that drawing in three-point perspective is fucking hard as hell. You have three vanishing points so you’ve really got to line everything up just right or it’s going to look all right. And not only has Gideon done that, but he’s managed to cover it in some pretty impressive-looking semen. Kudos, Gideon.
Gideon’s range isn’t limited to strictly furry faces though, there are human faces as well. See for yourself: A zebra centaur woman with NIPPLES TWICE THE SIZE OF HER HEAD and a cock vein the size of her arm. Nice.
Lastly, a little tribute to the comic book fans out there! Check this bodacious bat-babe out:
So if gigantic ejaculating horses are your thing, visit Gideon’s Corral today!
Posted in
furry,
gay,
drawn at 9:15 am
05.22.06
By Ali
Image editing software like Photoshop and it’s ilk can be tremendously powerful tools. I mostly use Photoshop to tweak the colors in photos and add pictures of cocks in my friends’ mouths, but it’s capable of doing much more. In the case of Photoshop, the liquify filter allows you to shape and morph your pictures in a realistic way, and you can easily draw elements of a picture from scratch using various brushes. With a skilled-enough artist you can get extremely realistic, vivid results.
Which is exactly what Nexus T of ProjectP does, only the images are quite often of women minding their own business who slowly morph into cow-people, udders a-burstin’ out of their pants.
What really gets me about all of this is that the image manipulations, while they have a slight cartoony quality to them, are really good. The lighting and foreshortening is spot-on. I’d imagne the artist probably had some sort of formal training and does image manipulation for a living, but he [NOTE: I am assuming it is a dude because, come on, can you really picture a girl making this?] has decided to use his skills for evil, like some sort of artsy Darth Vader. He’d be like “I have altered the image. Pray I don’t alter it any further.” I don’t know what draws some people to the dark side of the Photoshop, but it does result in some interesting pictures so I’m glad it happens!
A lot of this is furry-oriented, so of course you’ve got a variety of different animals, from the donkey:
to the mouse:
One thing to note about this site is it’s theme of transformations: A woman starts out normal, maybe she’s hanging out in her house, but all of a sudden her fingers fuse into hooves, and before you know it BAM she’s got udders. And she doesn’t really seem to disturbed by it, in fact she seems to be getting off on it and touches herself (and her fellow transformees if they’re around). Luckily for the girls of ProjectP the artist generally depicts these transformations at home, because if this happened while they were in their cubicles at work it could make for a lot of embarrassing office gossip. “Psst, did you hear Becky has turned into a cow and is furiously milking herself in the rec room?” Yeah, that would suck, but then again if you had the right boss you might get promoted really easily.
I guess on whatever bizarro planet this happens they must be pretty sexually open. I mean, I love the few female friends I have but I don’t think I’d want to chill out with my homegirls while my tits are floppin’ around. It is good to know that cow-people have transcended human insecurity about being nude in front of others,to the point that they can sit around and fondle their udders in pairs. Right on, cow-people!
If you aren’t into udders and pregnancy is more your style, then don’t worry, ProjectP has got that too. Well, it’s not so much pregnancy as it is women-turning-into-beachballs, because unless you’re carrying a fucking platoon of infants then you should never swell up this big:
There’s many many more images where these came from and they’re all pretty good (interpret “good” however you will), so check out ProjectP!
Posted in
furry,
drawn,
fuckin' weird at 1:54 am
04.27.06
By Ali
I would like to preface this entry by saying that Rob drew the above picture, and it fills me with profound sadness about the state of man.
The subject of this entry is stuffed animals, or “plushies” in the furry colloquial, and the people who love them in the Biblical sense. These “plushophiles,” perhaps fueled by the warm memories of comfort, cuddling with their stuffed animals as children, now happily hump away on their Gund bears and Pound Puppies.
In my eternal hunt for filth I came across a forum about fucking plushies. One guy, who apparently lacks a very important emotion known as shame, had this to say:
My roommate caught me yiffing a plush in my bedroom when he didn’t knock. I told him “That what you get for just walking in my room.” Then I continued my yiffing. He was embarrassed and I was not.
Male plushophiles will often alter their favorite stuffed animal, adding little pink pouches to fuck. I can just picture a plushophile sitting in his bedroom, surrounded by hundreds of stuffed wolves, frantically sewing a little pink satin pouch in the crotch of one of his toys while grinning and imagining his greasy little cock sliding into it.
While most of the pictures of plushies I could find were obviously intended to be used by males, that’s not to say there are no female plushies. Not by a long shot. Check this out, and get back to me on whether or not your life will be the same again.
And now you may be wondering: Golly gee, where can I find these anatomically correct plushies? If you want a plushie that you can yiff to your heart’s content, one place to find them is Furbid, a furry eBay full of treasures like this:
As always, a loveable option is available. I offer two types of SPH’s, a bag style and a hole style…
…Raven comes with her own pair of sexy matching panties for only $5!
And for those who want some soft velvety penises on their lovetoys, Pacifictrades carries a wide array of stuffed animals that rock out with their cocks out.
I really wish I was making this entry up entirely and those Pepe le Pew pics were something out of my imagination, but other people can see them too so I am going to go cry in my pillow for a while.
Posted in
furry,
inanimate objects at 1:27 pm
04.10.06
By Ali
I can’t remember the first time I found the Dolphin Sex FAQ, but I’m quite sure I was in my early teens, and it had a big impact on me. I think it was my first real hint that the internet wasn’t a place of fun and joy, but a place full of scary people who wanted weird sex. Sadly, dolphinsex.org is currently down, but the nice animal fuckers at zoophile.net have ensured that this precious information is not lost to the world. In addition to instructions on how to tell genders apart and how to gauge the sexual willingness of a dolphin, it contains the all-important tips to make sweet aquatic love to them.
There are many interesting parts in the article, but the best part by far is the “What do I do if a dolphin wants to mate with me?” response. Here’s a few informative snippets, interspersed with pictures of dolphin genitalia:
WARNING! In the considerations of safety, you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. Unless you are the masochistic type, you will have a hard time explaining your predicament to the doctors in the emergency ward….
The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in a accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship.
His tombstone could read “He died the way he lived: Sucking off Flipper.”
You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, they have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time.
While I don’t routinely go around looking for dolphin sex on the internet, I figured “If there’s a fucking FAQ dedicated to it, there’s probably some creepily drawn images of the act as well!” Sure enough, I found DolphinParadise, with both pictures and stories, as well as a large amount of photos of dolphin genitalia (as posted earlier).
I love bad artwork. I really do. And this is terrible. It’s like someone’s highschool art project gone horribly wrong.
And this one is an orca, not a dolphin, but it is pretty awesome and I doubt I’ll be making an orca-sex article any time soon. I love how the woman looks like a post-op transsexual with a really bad boob job.
Watching Flipper will never be the same for me again.
Posted in
animals,
furry,
drawn at 1:24 am
03.28.06
By Rob
Every time I’m fairly confident that I’ve encountered every bizarre fetish the world has to offer, the internet sneaks up behind me and drops a little digital present in my lap, and my whole world turns upside down. Such it was when I recently discovered vore - short for vorarephilia, a sexual fetish involving creatures eating and digesting other creatures. This can be animals eating other animals as they would in the wild, or, more hilariously, people getting eaten by giant animals, or people eating other people.
Vore’s presence on the internet is far more widespread than it logically should be, and what makes it incredibly entertaining is that it’s mostly an imaginary fetish, and thus relies on the imagination of the vore community’s talented artists and writers to bring it to life. Throughout the internet you’ll find a vast range of material catering to every facet of vore, from this guy’s obsession with drawing pictures of snakes eating rodents, to this guy’s Photoshopped fantasies of people being eaten by aquatic creatures:
(click to enlarge)
Fantasy fiction about ingestion is extremely popular as well, such as these long and elaborate stories in which people masturbate furiously as they are devoured alive by larger creatures. One site I found focuses exclusively on giant snakes devouring naked women:
(click to enlarge)
“Do you want one of the snakes to eat you?” asked Agent Cawly as she stared at Collier.
“Oh yes,” said Collier. Her breasts ached for touch, nipples hard as bullets. It was hard to think- she wanted sex, she wanted to be eaten alive. She wanted to be eaten alive while having sex. The sheer knowledge that snakes on the island were eating people and none of them were HER was both intensely sexy to her and incredibly frustrating. Her cunt craved sex- she was so wet, so hot… All she could see right now was her upper body to the waist in the mouth and throat of a snake, her lower body nude, and some unnamed man fucking her hard, her gaping cunt taking all his cock as he slammed it into her as the snake swallowed her alive…
Another great story involves two men on a double date with women who turn out to have mystical powers which allows them to suck the men inside of them via their vaginas:
Daryl felt her sex actually pulling in his shoulders and began to flail his arms and legs in fear and confusion. This only served to delight Marcia and enhance her orgasmic sensations. She began to take him in faster as her cavity was already widened to accept him, and his arms were quickly pinned to his sides. He was quickly pulled up through the warm moist opening as Marcia’s pussy sucked in his chest and found his head coming to the new opening to her stomach that she had created with the magic. His head entered her stomach and he could feel her moving faster and faster.
Marcia moaned loudly in delight as she felt Daryl beginning to enter her stomach. Her sex was now to his waist and she could still taste every inch of him somehow. She didn’t know exactly how this magic could do such a thing, but she loved it. She slowly enveloped his pelvis and could taste everything at once; his ass, his cock, even the remnants of the seed he had spilled earlier. Within her Daryl could feel the muscles working all around and began to become aroused again. Marcia used the muscles of her sex in order to milk his erection and his hips began to buck in instinct. Soon she was rewarded with his orgasm, the taste of his fresh seed only heightening her own sensations and giving her another climax.
As great as all of that is, my very favorite piece of “vornography” is a little digital animation where a giant balding man eats a tiny naked woman, swallows her, and then gives a little wink to the camera. I have watched this about a hundred times, and it never stops being funny. Click the image to view:
On certain occasions, the vore fetish deviates into straight-up cannibalism fantasy, as can be seen on a message board called the Girl Flesh Forum. Here you’ll find people asking burning questions such as:
“Does anyone have a fantasy of cooking and serving their daughters to friends and family?”
You would really hope that the answer would be a resounding “no!” But alas, other members of the board respond with:
“I don’t have a daughter, but I would love to eat my older sister.”
Well really, wouldn’t we all? Another response:
“A wonderful fantasy. I do enjoy the fantasy of serving my firstborn daughter as a virgin sacrifice to my family. In my fantasies, she’s willing and looking forward to the feast day.”
And my favorite:
“Yes, I do! My daughter is 21 and I’d love to serve her really beautiful body to my family (in fantasy, of course). I think having her roasted and eaten by her brothers, her uncles, cousins, grandparents and friends would be really nice. A big family meeting where everybody eats a piece of her.”
Next time you look at your father, ask yourself if you really know him. Is he the mild-mannered parental guardian you know and love, or does he jack off at night while fantasizing about roasting you like a Christmas ham and serving your cooked flesh to your other family members? This also begs the question - do these people get boners when they watch movies like Soylent Green and Alive?
For more vore fun on the internet, I encourage you to check out some of the following links:
- Vore.net seems to be the main hub of vore activity on the web. You’ll find stories, images, animations, and links.
- Hawkinz is a prolific vore artist with a particular interest in giant insects who eat people. She even likes to bring her fantasy to life by Photoshopping herself into scenes from Men In Black:
- The Vortex includes a gallery of vore art at its most outlandish - when it intersects with the world of furries and results in anthropomorphic mythical creatures eating other anthropomorphic mythical creatures (usually while one or both of them has a raging hard-on):
- The Vore Encoder is a device to help you create a quick code which tells other vorarephiliacs exactly what your specific interests are. Are you a giant gay male shape-shifting dragon who likes to do the eating? Or are you a miniature straight female kangaroo who likes to be eaten? These are important details which can lead to embarrassing flubs in online erotic role-playing chat rooms if you don’t fill out the encoder carefully!
