04.04.06
By Ali
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial was a very memorable movie. One of Stephen Spielberg’s finest, it told the story of an alien stranded on Earth, and the special bond he shared with a young boy. Just thinking about the scene where they’re both sick and dying tugs at my heartstrings. Usually it’s the internet destroys my fondest childhood memories, but I can’t blame them this time. This time, it’s the Germans.
Enter Extra Terrestrian: Die Ausserirdische, a pornographic film from the Fatherland. I have yet to have had the pleasure of viewing what I am sure is an outstanding cinematic adventure, but I think the pictures are all you really needs to fully appreciate the horror of this movie. Wrinkly, with overly-large eyes and a mouth that could shrivel any dick, I can’t imagine a single person watching this film with the intent of jacking off. Then again, I didn’t think anyone could get off to watching men pump gas pedals, but Rob’s entry yesterday learned me a thing or two.
What really boggles my mind about this, even more than the fact that there’s a grotesque ET getting fucked, is that everyone in the video is dressed in Victorian garb. When I think alien sex I certainly don’t think “Period piece! Bring out the corsets and poet shirts!” but I guess they like their sci-fi with a flair of ye olde tymes over in good ol’ Germany. It’s groundbreaking, to be sure.
You’d think that’d be the only ET porn in existence, right? That’d be the rational thing to think, because ET isn’t particularly sexy, so just one video should be enough to fill the xenophiliac niche, right? Oh so wrong you are! There’s videos of a male ET fucking and sucking some broad! I wish I was making this up. You really, really need to see the videos because the pictures don’t do them justice.
I’m trying to twist my mind right now to try and understand the mindset that must be present to find this shit erotic. Sadly, I always fall short, and for that I am thankful.
I have to go gouge my eyes out with a spoon, so enjoy the videos, and keep in mind that someone, somewhere, is masturbating to this right now.
Many thanks to Kalashnikov for hooking us up with this nonsense.
Posted in
animals,
fuckin' weird at 12:00 am
03.28.06
By Rob
Every time I’m fairly confident that I’ve encountered every bizarre fetish the world has to offer, the internet sneaks up behind me and drops a little digital present in my lap, and my whole world turns upside down. Such it was when I recently discovered vore - short for vorarephilia, a sexual fetish involving creatures eating and digesting other creatures. This can be animals eating other animals as they would in the wild, or, more hilariously, people getting eaten by giant animals, or people eating other people.
Vore’s presence on the internet is far more widespread than it logically should be, and what makes it incredibly entertaining is that it’s mostly an imaginary fetish, and thus relies on the imagination of the vore community’s talented artists and writers to bring it to life. Throughout the internet you’ll find a vast range of material catering to every facet of vore, from this guy’s obsession with drawing pictures of snakes eating rodents, to this guy’s Photoshopped fantasies of people being eaten by aquatic creatures:
(click to enlarge)
Fantasy fiction about ingestion is extremely popular as well, such as these long and elaborate stories in which people masturbate furiously as they are devoured alive by larger creatures. One site I found focuses exclusively on giant snakes devouring naked women:
(click to enlarge)
“Do you want one of the snakes to eat you?” asked Agent Cawly as she stared at Collier.
“Oh yes,” said Collier. Her breasts ached for touch, nipples hard as bullets. It was hard to think- she wanted sex, she wanted to be eaten alive. She wanted to be eaten alive while having sex. The sheer knowledge that snakes on the island were eating people and none of them were HER was both intensely sexy to her and incredibly frustrating. Her cunt craved sex- she was so wet, so hot… All she could see right now was her upper body to the waist in the mouth and throat of a snake, her lower body nude, and some unnamed man fucking her hard, her gaping cunt taking all his cock as he slammed it into her as the snake swallowed her alive…
Another great story involves two men on a double date with women who turn out to have mystical powers which allows them to suck the men inside of them via their vaginas:
Daryl felt her sex actually pulling in his shoulders and began to flail his arms and legs in fear and confusion. This only served to delight Marcia and enhance her orgasmic sensations. She began to take him in faster as her cavity was already widened to accept him, and his arms were quickly pinned to his sides. He was quickly pulled up through the warm moist opening as Marcia’s pussy sucked in his chest and found his head coming to the new opening to her stomach that she had created with the magic. His head entered her stomach and he could feel her moving faster and faster.
Marcia moaned loudly in delight as she felt Daryl beginning to enter her stomach. Her sex was now to his waist and she could still taste every inch of him somehow. She didn’t know exactly how this magic could do such a thing, but she loved it. She slowly enveloped his pelvis and could taste everything at once; his ass, his cock, even the remnants of the seed he had spilled earlier. Within her Daryl could feel the muscles working all around and began to become aroused again. Marcia used the muscles of her sex in order to milk his erection and his hips began to buck in instinct. Soon she was rewarded with his orgasm, the taste of his fresh seed only heightening her own sensations and giving her another climax.
As great as all of that is, my very favorite piece of “vornography” is a little digital animation where a giant balding man eats a tiny naked woman, swallows her, and then gives a little wink to the camera. I have watched this about a hundred times, and it never stops being funny. Click the image to view:
On certain occasions, the vore fetish deviates into straight-up cannibalism fantasy, as can be seen on a message board called the Girl Flesh Forum. Here you’ll find people asking burning questions such as:
“Does anyone have a fantasy of cooking and serving their daughters to friends and family?”
You would really hope that the answer would be a resounding “no!” But alas, other members of the board respond with:
“I don’t have a daughter, but I would love to eat my older sister.”
Well really, wouldn’t we all? Another response:
“A wonderful fantasy. I do enjoy the fantasy of serving my firstborn daughter as a virgin sacrifice to my family. In my fantasies, she’s willing and looking forward to the feast day.”
And my favorite:
“Yes, I do! My daughter is 21 and I’d love to serve her really beautiful body to my family (in fantasy, of course). I think having her roasted and eaten by her brothers, her uncles, cousins, grandparents and friends would be really nice. A big family meeting where everybody eats a piece of her.”
Next time you look at your father, ask yourself if you really know him. Is he the mild-mannered parental guardian you know and love, or does he jack off at night while fantasizing about roasting you like a Christmas ham and serving your cooked flesh to your other family members? This also begs the question - do these people get boners when they watch movies like Soylent Green and Alive?
For more vore fun on the internet, I encourage you to check out some of the following links:
- Vore.net seems to be the main hub of vore activity on the web. You’ll find stories, images, animations, and links.
- Hawkinz is a prolific vore artist with a particular interest in giant insects who eat people. She even likes to bring her fantasy to life by Photoshopping herself into scenes from Men In Black:
- The Vortex includes a gallery of vore art at its most outlandish - when it intersects with the world of furries and results in anthropomorphic mythical creatures eating other anthropomorphic mythical creatures (usually while one or both of them has a raging hard-on):
- The Vore Encoder is a device to help you create a quick code which tells other vorarephiliacs exactly what your specific interests are. Are you a giant gay male shape-shifting dragon who likes to do the eating? Or are you a miniature straight female kangaroo who likes to be eaten? These are important details which can lead to embarrassing flubs in online erotic role-playing chat rooms if you don’t fill out the encoder carefully!
03.27.06
By Ali
The reason most guys give for liking lesbians is along the lines of “If one girl is good, two girls is even better!” The “more is better” view is perfectly valid when applied to a lot of other things, like cheesecake and My Little Pony. It’s ok to want dozens of My Little Ponies. However, it is not ok to want dozens of legs.
A while back I had the misfortune of stumbling across boytaur.net, which is a gay foot fetish website gone horribly, horribly wrong. It specializes in Photoshops of men with multiple limbs, the most common configuration being two sets of legs arranged in a centaur-like fashion, but it doesn’t leave the multiple-hand fetishists in the dark, either. It has stories too, mostly about normal guys suddenly growing new limbs. One of my “favorites” is Leg Wheel, about a man who finds himself transforming into a gigantic mass of legs that rolls across the floor, and the friend who loves him for it.
“Hey, can you help me with this?” he said. I realized he was having just as hard a time now with the tank top. No wonder. His arms were now four big legs, too huge and awkward to get the tank top up and over his shoulders, which were more like hips now. He was bent forward, the four new feet on the floor, trying to pull his tank top off his forelegs by snagging it with feet - any feet - from his hind legs, but he couldn’t see with the tank top halfway off and covering his face. So all the big long legs were kind of flailing as they blindly tried to reach their feet for the stranded tank top, their feet thudding against the floor or their long thighs slapping each other.
Although the stories are pretty impressive, the pictures are truly the highlight of the site. There’s guys with three, four, six, eight and even more legs, furiously jacking off because apparently having multiple limbs makes you insatiably horny. I’m willing to bet that somewhere out there’s some poor guy that was born with another set of legs sticking out from his abdomen, and the guys from Boytaur are knocking down his door because he’s clearly a born sex-fiend.
Despite all this, I do appreciate Boytaur for enhancing my vocabulary. I had never before heard the term “wristfooted,” but now I know that it refers to people who have feet instead of hands. Thanks, Boytaur!
I’m going to let Boytaur speak for itself, but this picture is too ridiculous to leave out.
Posted in
gay,
fuckin' weird,
body mods at 12:00 am
