12.24.06

We’re Away For Right Now

By Rob

In case you hadn’t noticed, Population Paste is on hiatus. It might seem crazy, but Ali and I have other things going on in our lives that sometimes prevent us from perusing the weirdest, darkest corners of the internet and writing about them. However, I for one would love to see Paste resurrected, and since it’s clear that the two of us alone aren’t going to get our shit together to make it happen, we’re going to need your help. If you’re a talented writer with a desensitized mind and razor-sharp wit, and would be interested in contributing articles to this fine establishment, send some info about yourself and your very best writing samples to rob@populationpaste.com with the subject “I LOVE TENTACLE PORN.” If I ever get around to looking through the submissions, and if any of them meet our high quality standards, maybe we’ll get some new articles going around here. By the way, writing for this site does not involve actively seeking out subject matter - our readers provide that in spades, and we have a massive backlog of horrifying content just waiting to be dug into. It also doesn’t pay anything right now - you’d be involved purely for your love of coprophilia and adult babies. Of course, if we’re able to get the site running again and start generating some revenue from it, then we’ll throw some cash your way.

05.05.06

Hoping You Are Pleased Using The Magic Cone™!

By Rob

Here at Population Paste, we’re about more than just grossing you out. We’re about education, and yes, even helping people. No, really. We are.

With that in mind, I’m going to give you a break from the usual ungodly horrors of our site and bring you an informative public service announcement - specifically for the ladies.

Not to rub it in girls, but the ability to pee standing up is one of the better perks of being a dude. It’s fun, it’s easy, it’s convenient, and we even have our own special toilets designed just for the occasion. Aren’t you jealous? Of course you are. After all, the best you can really do is pull up your meat and spray like so, which is bound to make a mess. So what’s a girl to do? This little device might just hold the answer:

Yes, Magic Cone™ is a small disposable funnel that cups around your pee patch and guides your urine outward, allowing you to stand up and project your stream much like a man does! But don’t take it from me - I’ll let the fantastic broken English of the Magic Cone™ website describe this revolutionary device’s many benefits:

Magic Cone is a means through which females can urinate in standing position.

Magic Cone helps you to be less undressed, while urinating, comparing to the ordinary ways.

In schools, discos, restaurants and all public and gathering places, Magic Cone is amazing device.

Okay, so obviously now you’re sold - you’re ready for your own Magic Cone™. But naturally, you’re afraid. What if you do it wrong, and get pee all over yourself? What if everyone at the disco laughs at you? Thankfully, Magic Cone™ has enlisted First Lady Laura Bush to demonstrate the usage of Magic Cone™ for you:

Thanks Mrs. Bush - but like your husband’s answers to difficult questions, those instructions were a bit vague. Maybe the Bushs’ drunken First Daughter Jenna can clear things up a bit in this step-by-step animation explaining the proper usage of Magic Cone™. Really, please click that. It’s amazing.

That brings our public service announcement to an end. And since I feel a little uncomfortable posting something (arguably) non porn-related, here are some fun pictures of girls peeing standing up without Magic Cone™ - courtesy of the fine folks at Pissing In Action (my favorite is the third one, where she’s happily peeing on some frat boy who’s clearly responding with “yo, what da fuck brah??”):

04.18.06

Movie Review: Scatgirls From Space

By Rob

Just the other day I stumbled upon a little gem of a film called Scatgirls From Space. I don’t know anything about it, except that it obviously originated in Japan, and it would be very much at home in Mitch’s video collection. For those of you blissfully unaware what “scatgirls” might refer to, “scat” is short for scatology (also known as coprophilia), which, according to Wikipedia, refers to sexual acts conducted with human (or other) excrement. Yes, that’s right. Poopy. People who are aroused by poop.

Shit porn videos - particularly Japanese ones - are hardly a rarity, but this is the only scat porn I’ve ever seen with a science fiction theme, and I for one am delighted these two genres could finally come together. Since it’s all in Japanese, I’m probably missing out on some key plot points, but I will attempt to break it down for you to the best of my understanding. The film begins on a shoddily-constructed spaceship set with a Japanese girl dressed in some sort of Battlestar Galactica-esque uniform. She is aiming a plastic ray gun, and crying.

I’m not sure what it is with the Japanese and crying. In Japanese porn, hentai, anime, etc, a common theme is girls being forced to perform sexual acts while they whine and bawl uncontrollably. Japanese boners apparently stand to attention at the site of a helpless crying girl. I don’t know about you, but the last fucking thing I want a girl to start doing during sex is crying, so I suppose I should avoid dating the women in Scatgirls From Space , who sob uncontrollably throughout the entire film. Although, given what they’re doing, I suppose it’s understandable.

The source of the girl’s misery appears to be this guy, who I will affectionately refer to as Newspaper Head:

I’m not sure if Newspaper Head is meant to be an alien with the world’s cheapest alien costume, or if he has some sort of third degree facial burns. Maybe the spacegirls burned his face the way this movie burned my retinas, and now he’s seeking revenge. Whatever the case, he ends up with both of the Crying Japanese Spacegirls at gunpoint, and he does what any of us would do if we had two Crying Japanese Spacegirls at gunpoint - he forces them to make out with each other.

Then, for no apparent reason whatsoever, Newspaper Head forces Crying Japanese Spacegirl A’s fingers down her throat, causing her to vomit - right into Crying Japanese Spacegirl B’s mouth:

I’m sure that image looks gross to you, but I cannot express how much worse it is with sound and motion. Crying Japanese Spacegirl A’s vomit has almost the exact color and consistency of oatmeal - chunky oatmeal that didn’t have enough water in the mixture. And what’s amazing is that it just keeps coming. It’s not like a burst of vomit the way normal people puke - it just keeps dribbling out, slowly and steadily, flowing like a gloppy river of porridge into Japanese Spacegirl B’s mouth.

I can’t emphasize enough how much vomit pours out of this girl. Her mouth is like the trunk of Coolio’s car in that one video, except instead of containing an impossibly endless amount of Coolio’s homies, it contains an impossibly endless amount of chunky, yellowish-green, semi-digested foodslop.

This goes on for quite a while, with Crying Japanese Spacegirl B getting an opportunity to do the vomiting, and both of them scooping up the large pools of throwup and playing with it. We are then treated to a creatively abstract scene where the girls actually vomit onto the camera. This is so beyond gross that I just had to share it in video form - click here for a gruesome reminder that they really do eat a lot of noodles in Japan.

After that, Newspaper Head suddenly reappears, only to be shot unexpectedly by Crying Japanese Spacegirl A’s raygun. The special effects, as you can see, are top-notch:

With Newspaper Head no longer a problem, you’d think the girls would stop crying and get on with piloting their spaceship, or whatever spacegirls do. But no. Apparently, the only logical way to celebrate their enemy’s demise is to squat over each other’s faces and take dumps in their mouths:

Crying Japanese Spacegirl A, whining all the while, slowly pushes out a lumpy, greenish-brown turd into Crying Japanese Spacegirl B’s mouth. Always the team player, Crying Japanese Spacegirl B then sits up and shares her smelly gift with its creator, by way of kissing the turd back and forth between their two mouths:

As an interesting aside, throughout all of this the girls’ vaginas, when briefly shown, are pixelated out. There is a strange - and clearly flawed - provision in Japanese pornography laws which requires all genitalia to be censored. Nevermind what’s happening around the genitalia, just as long as those pixels are covering the baby-maker. As you can see in the picture below - the vagina? Censored. The adjacent swollen rectum, shitting turds into a girl’s mouth? Totally okay.

After a good fifteen minutes of shitting in each others’ mouths, kissing the poop back and forth, and then smearing it on their bodies, the plot suddenly takes a dramatic turn, as Crying Japanese Girl A (Or is it B? At this point I’m not sure) says something undoubtedly profound, and unexpectedly then takes her own life:

I can’t be certain what exactly she said, but I’d guess it’s along the lines of “Dude, I just had a TURD in my MOUTH. I ATE MY OWN FECES. I really don’t think I can go on.” The film ends on a tender note, with Crying Japanese Girl B crying over the body of her lover, both of them covered in their own shit and vomit. It is here we see that behind all of the horrifyingly grotesque sexual acts, the heart of Scatgirls From Space is a tragic tale of forbidden love. You could almost call it the Romeo & Juliet of sci-fi scat porn.

Final Verdict: Shit-swapping, vomit cams, and low budget sci-fi action? What’s not to love? We give this film our highest rating - 5 limp dicks!

04.17.06

Meet Mitch!

By Rob

This is Mitch. Some of you have probably already met Mitch - I introduced him to the world a while back on my blog. But really, this site is a much better home for someone like Mitch, so he’s moved over here where he belongs, and he’s even added some stuff to his page.

Click here to meet Mitch! This is a fun link to send to your friends, particularly when they’re at work.

Once you’re acquainted with Mitch, and you inevitably find yourself wanting more, click here for some all new photos of that lovable guy!

You can thank me later.

04.02.06

The Red Menace 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Ali

As a dame, I can say with great authority that being on the rag sucks. My Aunt Scarlet is visiting me right now, and the worst part about it is going to the bathroom and wiping away thick red chunks with toilet paper. Well, they’re usually red, but it’s towards the end of my period now so they’re more of a reddish black and have the consistency of snot. It’s every bit as appetizing as it sounds, I assure you.

But that’s besides the point. The point is that while it can be argued that I am a little off in the head, there are some broads out there with so many screws loose that they think painting pictures with their menstrual blood is a good idea. And not just finger-painting on their bodies, oh no. I’m talking Bristol board, watercolor brushes, then crosshatching with black ink. And it’s not just a handful of chicks doing this, it’s a bustling Livejournal community with nearly 500 members.

Before I discuss the drawings I feel I need to explain menstrual cups, one of which you can see in the photo below:

Before menstrual cups were around women had to put something absorbent in or near their cooch, which soaked up all the blood. By comparison, menstrual cups are inserted and catch each little drop of blood, which stays there until the girl removes it and dumps it out. Well, some girls had the bright idea of using the collected blood to paint with, and the results are contained in this entry.

Most of the time the paintings are drawings of awkward women or vulvas or flowers, like so:

But sometimes drawing female imagery isn’t enough, and they feel the need to draw pop culture icons with their blood. I was horrified enough to find this community in the first place, so you can imagine my surprise when I saw my favorite Star Wars characters rendered in blood.

Is that all? No, of course not! There’s also this heartwarming drawing of Matthew McConaughey:

In a roundabout way I can comprehend drawing vulvas and pixies out of your own blood, it’s all very feminine and this could be a way of reclaiming womanhood or some new age retro hippie bullshit, but Matthew McConaughey? He doesn’t really strike me as a symbol of fertility and the Goddess element in all of us.

But then again, neither does Megaman and they fucking painted him with their uterine linings, too!

So by all means go to the blood_art community and watch a bunch of Boho and goth chicks paint shit with their cooters, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

And let it be known that I witnessed Rob coin the term “muff marinara” last night, so if the term takes off I can look all smug and say “Yeah, you know the term ‘muff marinara’? I KNOW THAT GUY!” and then everyone will want to touch me. Unless they read this entry and know about my snot-like black menses, in which case I guess they won’t!

03.30.06

Farting Sexy: “The Sweaty Promise Of Her Ass-Stink”

By Rob

Are you a woman with uncontrollable flatulence, afraid to get close to men because you just can’t hold in that smelly assbomb? Are you a man who secretly loves the sight and smell of a woman ripping ass, but you’re afraid you’re alone in the world? Well fear not, because now there’s a home for all of you: Farting Sexy.

Farting Sexy is a porn site where several overweight, white trash women delight eproctophiles (the apparent technical term for people aroused by flatulence) everywhere by sticking their rancid asses in the camera and letting it rip. They also like to belch loudly, so those of you with burping fetishes need not feel excluded.

I recommend a visit to the free preview area, where you can view some truly amazing video clips of the site’s gassy girls farting in the camera, farting in the bathtub, and yes, farting on each other. What makes these clips great is the white trash overtone - watch this clip to the end just to hear the woman’s voice:

Or this belching clip starring the same woman - you might want to be sitting down when you watch this, the raw sex appeal contained in this video might be too extreme for you:

Forget the belching, the most disturbing part of that clip is those awful pants.

Of course, the most entertaining part of Farting Sexy is the discussion forum, where fart-lovers everywhere can congregate, share their passions and experiences, and communicate with the gorgeous Farting Sexy models. Consider one man’s unbridled adoration for the woman in the above videos:

“How I have longed for a woman like you to spread her gorgeous ass for me, and rip her stinky, aromatic fragrance in my face and mouth ! I would love, just love to rim your tight, smelly asshole as you rip your fragrant farts in my face all day hun !!”

Mmm, yummy. Here he is, at it again in another thread:

“MMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmm, the last pic!! her anal hairs peeking out alongside her thong…the sweaty promise of her ass-stink……..the taste and smell of her naughty farts!!!!! I have to go clean up now”

I sincerely hope that’s the first and last time I ever encounter the phrase “the sweaty promise of her ass-stink.”

More disturbing is a thread where fart lovers share childhood stories of how they originally came to be aroused by flatulence:

“For me it started when I was about 7 / 8 years old. …

My grandmother wore girdles etc, & I used to like watching her get dressed of a morning. (I should explain here that my fixation wasn’t with my grandmother, it was with her underwear!) I would pretend to play in her bedroom, whilst secretly watching her putting on her girdle. pantyhose etc.

I can vividly remember on one such occasion, as she pulled up her underwear, her farting loudly. She then sat down on the bed to pull up, either pantyhose or stockings, & farting out loud again.

Over time, I grew to associate farting with that kind of women’s underwear, & with mature women. I just loved the idea of a woman dressed in her girdle or panties, or indeed pantyhose, beneath her skirt &…. farting!”

Well, of course! How else would one become aroused by women farting?

Thanks to the lovely (and flatulent!) Tamar for the link.