12.24.06

We’re Away For Right Now

By Rob

In case you hadn’t noticed, Population Paste is on hiatus. It might seem crazy, but Ali and I have other things going on in our lives that sometimes prevent us from perusing the weirdest, darkest corners of the internet and writing about them. However, I for one would love to see Paste resurrected, and since it’s clear that the two of us alone aren’t going to get our shit together to make it happen, we’re going to need your help. If you’re a talented writer with a desensitized mind and razor-sharp wit, and would be interested in contributing articles to this fine establishment, send some info about yourself and your very best writing samples to rob@populationpaste.com with the subject “I LOVE TENTACLE PORN.” If I ever get around to looking through the submissions, and if any of them meet our high quality standards, maybe we’ll get some new articles going around here. By the way, writing for this site does not involve actively seeking out subject matter - our readers provide that in spades, and we have a massive backlog of horrifying content just waiting to be dug into. It also doesn’t pay anything right now - you’d be involved purely for your love of coprophilia and adult babies. Of course, if we’re able to get the site running again and start generating some revenue from it, then we’ll throw some cash your way.

12.14.06

How To Enlarge Your Penis: “The Difference Between a Hot Dog and a Salami”

By Rob

So yeah, it’s been a while. We’ve been busy again. But that’s okay, because like a persistent infection, we’re back, and we have a special treat for you today.

Many years ago, some friends of mine bought a penis pump as a gag gift for another friend. The pump came with a VHS tape entitled “How To Enlarge Your Penis.” On it, an obscure gay porn star named Scott Taylor walks you through the process of enlarging your meatsicle via meticulous demonstration, and discusses his lengthy (pun intended) experiences with the pump - all in a charming wrapper of bad 80’s DIY video production. The tape was so funny and creepy and amazing that it became a thing of legend amongst our group of friends - but over the years, we lost track of the video, and we feared it gone forever, lost to the world like an ancient treasure… until last night. While digging through some old hard drives, I found a digital copy we’d made of the infamous tape - and now, I shall share it with you.

This video is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. There are so many great lines, I don’t even know where to start. For quick and convenient viewing, I’ve put together a 5 minute highlight reel on PornoTube:

But if you want the true experience, I highly recommend watching the full 15 minute feature:

We’ll be back with a “bigger” (pun again intended) update soon. No, really.