07.10.06
By Ali
Alright alright, I admit I’m a horrible person for taking some time off to go on vacation, rock out, and call up Rob while blasted on cheap beer at 1AM to threaten his life (for reasons I can’t quite recall). It was fun, but now it’s back to the old grind. And I know Rob’s been busy too, what with having to fill in as temporary chairperson of his local NAMBLA chapter and all, so please excuse him for that. “So many little boys, so little time,” as the old adage goes, heh.
But enough distractions. I came to bring the pain, hardcore from the internet. And today, pain has taken the form of gigantic furry cocks. And titties. Sometimes on the same creature. Enter Gideon’s Corral.
So there’s this whole macrophile thing, right? It’s a fetish that revolves around amazingly huge things, be they people, furries, or just their genitalia. The above image is a prime example: There’s some sultry sabre-toothed damsel, with cleavage that puts Pandora Peaks to shame, paired with a big furry sheath, and testicles nearly as large as the creature’s breasts. For contrast there is a small… well I don’t know what it is, but it’s furry and snuggled deep in the sabre-tooth’s bosom. And there you have it: It’s like Venus of Willendorf for the 21st century, if only Venus was an intersexed furry.
Now if there’s any one creature renowned for their massive members, it’s the horse. I can’t count the times I’ve referred to a particularly well-endowed, uhh, “gentleman caller” as having a horsecock. With this ill rep, it’s no surprise that horses play a prominent role in Gideon’s art. But rather than having the standard massive horse-sized cock, they have genitals so large and swollen that they’d probably pass out and die from lack of blood to the brain the first time they got an erection.
But this is all fantasy, and in a fantasy world there are no limits to the amount of blood that can be shifted around in one’s bloodstream or the size of one’s genitals. There’s also no limit to what species can be depicted, so here we have two of my favorite mythological beasts getting it on: A beautiful unicorn having her titties licked by a badass red dragon.
Season’s greetings! Here’s a little holiday display from two reindeer.
This was one of the more perplexing images on the site: A sabre-tooth cat with a cock the size of a leg, tormenting a guy going to a keg party? I don’t get it.
Back to the horse theme! Here’s a picture of a clydesdale clearing out the red light district with a blast of semen:
… and here he is doing some freelance demolition work:
Now I’d like to go on record saying that drawing in three-point perspective is fucking hard as hell. You have three vanishing points so you’ve really got to line everything up just right or it’s going to look all right. And not only has Gideon done that, but he’s managed to cover it in some pretty impressive-looking semen. Kudos, Gideon.
Gideon’s range isn’t limited to strictly furry faces though, there are human faces as well. See for yourself: A zebra centaur woman with NIPPLES TWICE THE SIZE OF HER HEAD and a cock vein the size of her arm. Nice.
Lastly, a little tribute to the comic book fans out there! Check this bodacious bat-babe out:
So if gigantic ejaculating horses are your thing, visit Gideon’s Corral today!
Posted in
furry,
gay,
drawn at 9:15 am
07.04.06
By Rob
Today is a special day here in America. Today, people all across the country gather together and light fireworks to celebrate the birth of the mighty, arrogant, imperialistic, cancerous empire of greed I proudly call home.
So, in the spirit of the holiday, I’d like to present a little movie that’s simply all too perfect for the occasion. This originates from BME’s video site, a body modification empire which is unquestionably home to the hardest shit on the internet. Hands down, these guys are the kings, and have been for many years - peruse their site and prepare to be more impressed/disgusted than you ever have before. But first….
Happy 4th Of July, fuckers.
Yes, those are five fire crackers. Yes, it’s real. Yes, that is the most fucked penis I’ve ever seen, too. Have a great day!
Posted in
severe pain at 12:56 pm
07.03.06
By Rob
When I was a kid, my family did a lot of camping. Not that shitty yuppie camping where you drive your RV to a resort campground with groomed lawns and fancy restrooms - I mean like real, out in the wilderness, pitch-a-tent-and-start-a-fire camping. And in my many hundreds of childhood hours spent exploring the vast wilderness of the Pacific Northwest, there was one precaution given to me regularly: watch for nettles. Nettles are similar to poison ivy - nondescript plants which, upon contact with the skin, cause a painful, itchy, stinging sensation. Though rarely seriously harmful, the nettle’s sting is nonetheless highly unpleasant - I can say that with experience, from my many careless romps through the forest overgrowth on those camping trips. But I hadn’t even heard the word “nettle” in well over a decade, until the other day, when I found it somewhere I never would have expected: on a porn site.
Indeed, the BDSM community’s endless quest for new ways to injure their genitalia has led them to an uncharted frontier of pain: poisonous plants. Urtication is the official term for the use of stinging nettles in sexual acts. According to urtication.com:
“Nettles cause intense burning sensations in the skin where applied, very similar to the sharp pain of a whip… But while a whipstroke comparatively fades rapidly (within an hour at least, with aching for a few more) the hot, intense burn of a nettle can last for up to 24 hours!”
Well, that sounds absolutely fantastic! Why would I only want to be in agony for an hour? The other “benefit” of nettles is that they increase sensitivity in the applied area - particularly useful for whipping and spanking, as they “turn even the most jaded iron bottoms into mewling kittens.” That’s… good to know.
But nettles aren’t just for butts - as these pictures from Club Daniela show, you can use them on nipples, and even vaginas! Hooray!
Look at the close-up of the last photo, and notice, as the site points out, that “you can see little bumps on her puffy sore labia. Those are the tiny blisters that give the stinging nettle its fearsome reputation!” Maybe I’m just a pussy, but that is about as far away from sexually appealing to me as a fresh bowl of Rosie O’Donnel’s diarrhea. Fuuuuck.
Unfortunately for all of us, stinging your birthflaps with poisonous leaves isn’t the only way to get off using potent vegetation. Figging is the sexual practice involving the insertion of ginger root or even chile peppers into the anus. Yes, while I’m busy desperately trying to avoid the little bit of ginger they put on the side of sushi dishes, some people are sticking huge chunks of it into their rectum. Naturally, this would cause an intense burning sensation, which is why the practice would never even begin to occur to 99.9 percent of the population. You could probably safely even add a few more nines onto that figure and have room to spare. Regardless, there is a devoted community of figgers in the BDSM world, and their experiences are collected at figging.com. One first-time figger describes her inaugural adventure with ginger:
“Anyway, he worked the knob of ginger into my pussy and within a minute I was writhing. It could have been worse…..I mean….he could have poured hot oil on my pussy and then lit it on fire. I managed to keep from screaming by smothering myself with the pillow. … with my pussy on fire and Eddie very obviously enjoying the show, he plugged my butt with another bit of root. Now, just let me say that my pussy apparently had NOT been on fire. Or if it was, it was a mild little smoldering fire. My asshole felt like he’d just shoved a blowtorch up inside me and went to town with it.”
You’re probably thinking how incredibly appealing that all sounds, so thankfully this how-to guide exists to aid you in your first figging experience.
Oddly, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of figging porn out there, but I did manage to find this gallery from a spanking fetish movie’s figging scene. Gooooood times.
