We’ve previously featured cheap sex dolls and people who fuck their stuffed animals, but I never would have imagined that the two would ever come together. Enter Teddy Babes, the first and only plush love dolls.

Teddy Babes are exactly what they sound like - instead of stuffed animals, they are life-sized stuffed girls, and they actually look like they’re very well-made. Of course, they would hold no appeal to plushophiles, as plushies are only interested in stuffed animals. Rather, these plush vixens seem to be targeted at a uniquely lonely type of man who wants a sex doll he can sleep and cuddle with at night - like a giant, D-cupped teddy bear. But don’t think that the cuddly nature of Teddy Babes means they can’t get down to business when you’re ready for more than a snuggle, as Teddy Babes come fully equipped with a velvety vaginal opening - which, as shown below, can be removed for cleaning. That would be an embarrassing mix-up at the laundry mat, wouldn’t it? “Excuse me, Sir, I think I found your, um, plush girlfriend’s vagina in with my socks.”

Teddy Babes come in a variety of different models to suit your individual tastes. Although, as the website says, “There’s really no reason to settle for just one. Collect them all, and create your own Teddy Babes harem!” At this point I can only picture some fat, lonely, middle-aged man - some sort of living embodiment of The Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons - arriving home after a hard day at work to his dirty little apartment, and entering the bedroom to find his Teddy Babe harem, lying naked in wait for their tubby master. He then makes love to them, passionately, and when he is done he sits on his bed, naked, eating chips, his harem positioned all around him, their breasts stained with Cheeto residue, happily snuggling with him while he watches his Babylon 5 DVDs in sweet, post-coital bliss.

If that scenario sounds like something that’s been missing from your life, you probably have some burning questions about Teddy Babes. The website’s FAQ is full of answers to important issues such as “What is her butt like?” Yes, they have an answer:

A Teddy Babe’s rear-end is round and sexy. It’s very squeezable and “spankable.”

Eww.

But thorough though the FAQ is, I had some of my own questions about Teddy Babes that simply weren’t covered on the website. So I wrote the following e-mail to Teddy Babes:

Hello,

I am considering purchasing a Teddy Babe, but I have some specific needs and would like to ask a few questions. I have purchased several love dolls in the past, and have been unhappy with the plastic/rubber feel of the skin, so naturally I am wondering if the soft plush of Teddy Babes would be a viable alternative.

Question: I am interested in urinating on my Teddy Babe. Would this damage the Teddy Babe, and if so to what extent? Generally I only drink water so my urine would not be particularly potent, thus odor is not an issue. I would only urinate on her when she has misbehaved, so I am not anticipating this to occur more than once a week. However, I would not want to cause any lasting damage to my Teddy Babe.

Question: Is it possible to custom order a Teddy Babe with red stuffing inside, such that a cut or tear in the Teddy Babe’s “skin” would produce red “blood”? I enjoy rough sex with my love dolls and would be interested in seeing realistic wounds as a result. Naturally, I would be willing to pay extra for such a customization.

Question: Are you aware of any way to simulate the mark of a branding iron on my Teddy Babe’s “skin”? I would like to brand my name onto my Teddy Babe’s buttocks, as one would do to cattle, so she understands she is my property and should act as such - however, I understand that using an actual branding iron on a plush woman would probably catch it on fire.

Question: How stain resistant are Teddy Babes,
particularly from substances like semen, feces, blood, and peanut butter? Just out of curiosity.

Thank you for your time and for providing such a unique product.

The fine folks at Teddy Babes actually wrote me back, and gave this response:

In answer to your questions, our Teddy Babes are essentially like stuffed animals. So, in terms of staining or damange, they would hold up as well (or as badly) as pretty much any other stuffed toy or teddy bear would under such conditions. Incidental semen stains and the like can be cleaned with a little soap and water (or Woolite), but we don’t recommend getting your Teddy Babe soaking wet or applying things like feces or peanut butter, which will obviously damage the doll. :-) We also don’t offer customized dolls at this time, but maybe in the future. Also, given that our doll is a stuffed toy based on a sewn pattern, if you cut them to simulate an open wound, it would likely result in distorting the doll’s overall shape.
In terms of branding, our dolls are made of plush fabric, which would likely catch on fire, yes. But there’s always airbrush paint or various kinds of stencils, which might achieve the desired effect.
;-)

Hope that helps. Thanks for your interest in Teddy Babes.

Yes, yes that definitely helped. And kudos on the impressively professional response. Now my mind is made up, as I’m sure yours is, so head on over to the order page and sign up for your own Teddy Babe, at the low price of $650.00 each.

Thanks to Telivarn for the link.

Posted in sex toys at 1:40 pm