Rob’s entry about penis pumping last night reminded me of something that had blissfully slipped my mind until now: Pussy pumping. While cock pumping makes sense in a way because large cocks are seen as an indication of male sexual prowess, I can’t think of a goddamn reason why any chick would want to make her cunt swollen to the size of her fist. I just… I mean, I’ve had a cunt for as long as I can remember, and I like doing weird shit to it, but why would you… why… I’m at a loss for words here.

Pornabees features some extreme pussy pumping. They take a perfectly normal-looking cunt, slap on a gasmask with some suction at the end, and suck and suck until the result looks alarmingly like an apricot with a bad toupee.

The funniest thing about grossly enlarged vulvas is how much they resemble the lips on a person’s face. In fact, I’m going to work a little Photoshop magic now, and I encourage everyone to try this on pictures of their friends as well because it’s hella funny. Before:

And after (Sorry Cliff!):

That’s all done by using the gasmask-looking pumps, which seem to result in a pussy that looks more or less like a normal one, only larger. Some women decide to use the tube-shaped ones that were probably meant for cocks, with disturbing results. There are sites with pictures of women who look like their unborn fetuses are being tugged right the fuck out, as can be seen here:

Oh, that’s nice. A large wad of indiscernable flesh that looks a bit like a prolapsed rectum. Consider my engines revved!

Did you find this article exciting? Want to learn how to pump your own pussy? Here’s the step by step instructions to get your own ridiculous engorged lovemound. I am eagerly awaiting the day someone starts the world’s first bellybutton-pumping site.

Posted in sex toys, body mods at 12:22 am