big juggs

“America, the land of plenty.” There was a time when this phrase meant that our country was a promised land of rich resources and endless opportunities. These days, it’s far more applicable to our obsession with everything being bigger. Stupidly huge tank-sized SUVs, five pound triple cheeseburgers, Super Wal-Marts the size of small cities, our ever-growing national waistline… America has become synonymous with overindulgence. And naturally, the modern American spirit has injected itself into the breasts of our porn stars.

I’m not into fake breasts. Personally, I like the real thing; I’d take a natural A cup over a silicone-stuffed D cup any day. But that’s just me - a lot of guys, and girls, like their juggs bigger than nature can provide, and don’t particularly care if that means rock hard bolted-on backbreakers that wouldn’t jiggle in an earthquake. But even the most absurdly oversized baby feeders are lost in the shadows of the massive manufactured mammaries of Chelsea Charms and Maxi Mounds.

Maxi and Chelsea are porn stars who have augmented their breasts to impossible sizes using a now-illegal method called polypropylene string breast implants. According to Wikipedia: The string implants irritate the breast pocket which, in turn, promotes the production of fluid. The fluid is absorbed by the implant, resulting in continuous, gradual growth of the breast. Truly, the gift that keeps on giving.

There seems to be some online debate over which of these two porn stars’ breast pockets have been irritated more. Although numerous websites reference Miss Charms as having the world’s biggest breasts, and her Wiki has them weighing in at 31 pounds each (a full ten pounds more than Maxi’s), it is Miss Mounds who holds the Guinness World Record for largest augmented breasts:

I guess you’d need world record breasts to keep the attention away from a face like that. Never has the term “messed up from the chest up” seemed more apt. And since I know you’re wondering, her cup size is 42M. Visit her website where you can even buy one of her used bras for only $75.

Other than as a sideshow curiosity, I don’t exactly understand the appeal of these mutantly gargantuan breasts. When I was in elementary school I remember some project where our whole class worked together to create the solar system out of paper maché. The sun needed to be the largest of course, so we used a giant beach ball as the base. Now, someone skilled in the art of paper maché (if such people even exist) could probably turn that into a flawlessly-smooth yellow sphere. But we were seven years old. Our sun was big, hard, and mis-shapen, plauged with a rough, uneven texture of folds, wrinkles, and tears. It was a grotesque disaster, and it was the first thing I thought of when I saw Chelsea Charms‘ tits:

Maxi may hold the world record, but for my money, Chelsea’s flesh pillows look bigger and weirder and more like a bad effect in a Troma movie. Look at the fucking veinage on that shit! I can’t even imagine what a chore it is to walk around with sixty pounds of mutant tit flesh hanging off your chest. But at least she has a built-in drink holder:

If big stretched-out skin asteroids are your thing, head over to Photo Clubs for all the mega-jugg porn you could ever need.

Posted in body mods at 12:01 am