Just the other day I stumbled upon a little gem of a film called Scatgirls From Space. I don’t know anything about it, except that it obviously originated in Japan, and it would be very much at home in Mitch’s video collection. For those of you blissfully unaware what “scatgirls” might refer to, “scat” is short for scatology (also known as coprophilia), which, according to Wikipedia, refers to sexual acts conducted with human (or other) excrement. Yes, that’s right. Poopy. People who are aroused by poop.

Shit porn videos - particularly Japanese ones - are hardly a rarity, but this is the only scat porn I’ve ever seen with a science fiction theme, and I for one am delighted these two genres could finally come together. Since it’s all in Japanese, I’m probably missing out on some key plot points, but I will attempt to break it down for you to the best of my understanding. The film begins on a shoddily-constructed spaceship set with a Japanese girl dressed in some sort of Battlestar Galactica-esque uniform. She is aiming a plastic ray gun, and crying.

I’m not sure what it is with the Japanese and crying. In Japanese porn, hentai, anime, etc, a common theme is girls being forced to perform sexual acts while they whine and bawl uncontrollably. Japanese boners apparently stand to attention at the site of a helpless crying girl. I don’t know about you, but the last fucking thing I want a girl to start doing during sex is crying, so I suppose I should avoid dating the women in Scatgirls From Space , who sob uncontrollably throughout the entire film. Although, given what they’re doing, I suppose it’s understandable.

The source of the girl’s misery appears to be this guy, who I will affectionately refer to as Newspaper Head:

I’m not sure if Newspaper Head is meant to be an alien with the world’s cheapest alien costume, or if he has some sort of third degree facial burns. Maybe the spacegirls burned his face the way this movie burned my retinas, and now he’s seeking revenge. Whatever the case, he ends up with both of the Crying Japanese Spacegirls at gunpoint, and he does what any of us would do if we had two Crying Japanese Spacegirls at gunpoint - he forces them to make out with each other.

Then, for no apparent reason whatsoever, Newspaper Head forces Crying Japanese Spacegirl A’s fingers down her throat, causing her to vomit - right into Crying Japanese Spacegirl B’s mouth:

I’m sure that image looks gross to you, but I cannot express how much worse it is with sound and motion. Crying Japanese Spacegirl A’s vomit has almost the exact color and consistency of oatmeal - chunky oatmeal that didn’t have enough water in the mixture. And what’s amazing is that it just keeps coming. It’s not like a burst of vomit the way normal people puke - it just keeps dribbling out, slowly and steadily, flowing like a gloppy river of porridge into Japanese Spacegirl B’s mouth.

I can’t emphasize enough how much vomit pours out of this girl. Her mouth is like the trunk of Coolio’s car in that one video, except instead of containing an impossibly endless amount of Coolio’s homies, it contains an impossibly endless amount of chunky, yellowish-green, semi-digested foodslop.

This goes on for quite a while, with Crying Japanese Spacegirl B getting an opportunity to do the vomiting, and both of them scooping up the large pools of throwup and playing with it. We are then treated to a creatively abstract scene where the girls actually vomit onto the camera. This is so beyond gross that I just had to share it in video form - click here for a gruesome reminder that they really do eat a lot of noodles in Japan.

After that, Newspaper Head suddenly reappears, only to be shot unexpectedly by Crying Japanese Spacegirl A’s raygun. The special effects, as you can see, are top-notch:

With Newspaper Head no longer a problem, you’d think the girls would stop crying and get on with piloting their spaceship, or whatever spacegirls do. But no. Apparently, the only logical way to celebrate their enemy’s demise is to squat over each other’s faces and take dumps in their mouths:

Crying Japanese Spacegirl A, whining all the while, slowly pushes out a lumpy, greenish-brown turd into Crying Japanese Spacegirl B’s mouth. Always the team player, Crying Japanese Spacegirl B then sits up and shares her smelly gift with its creator, by way of kissing the turd back and forth between their two mouths:

As an interesting aside, throughout all of this the girls’ vaginas, when briefly shown, are pixelated out. There is a strange - and clearly flawed - provision in Japanese pornography laws which requires all genitalia to be censored. Nevermind what’s happening around the genitalia, just as long as those pixels are covering the baby-maker. As you can see in the picture below - the vagina? Censored. The adjacent swollen rectum, shitting turds into a girl’s mouth? Totally okay.

After a good fifteen minutes of shitting in each others’ mouths, kissing the poop back and forth, and then smearing it on their bodies, the plot suddenly takes a dramatic turn, as Crying Japanese Girl A (Or is it B? At this point I’m not sure) says something undoubtedly profound, and unexpectedly then takes her own life:

I can’t be certain what exactly she said, but I’d guess it’s along the lines of “Dude, I just had a TURD in my MOUTH. I ATE MY OWN FECES. I really don’t think I can go on.” The film ends on a tender note, with Crying Japanese Girl B crying over the body of her lover, both of them covered in their own shit and vomit. It is here we see that behind all of the horrifyingly grotesque sexual acts, the heart of Scatgirls From Space is a tragic tale of forbidden love. You could almost call it the Romeo & Juliet of sci-fi scat porn.

Final Verdict: Shit-swapping, vomit cams, and low budget sci-fi action? What’s not to love? We give this film our highest rating - 5 limp dicks!

Posted in bodily functions, really nasty, japan at 8:27 pm