04.05.06
Animal House: Doggie Dongs and Kitty Cocks
So you’re a zoophile, right? You enjoy having sex with animals. Let’s just say, just as an example… dogs. Canines are your thing. Man’s best friend and his veiny red rocket, that’s what gets you off. But, you know, having a dog is so much responsibility! You have to train it, walk it, get its shots, buy it food… You can’t go out of town without getting someone to watch it… Total pain in the ass - just to get laid! All you want is a hole full of big hard German Sheppard cock, but none of the responsibility. Well that’s where Zetacreations comes in. At Zetacreations, you can purchase a realistically-molded dog penis dildo, and bam! All the steamy sexual satisfaction of a real doggone dog dong, but you don’t have to vacuum the hairs off your couch the next morning!

Of course, the insatiable love between man and beast is not limited simply to the world of canines - and Zetacreations knows this all too well, which is why it offers a wide variety of realistic animal dildos for the discerning zoophile customer. These start with “typical” animal cocks, like a horse:

To more obscure animals, like kangaroos:

Dolphins:

Alligator:

And on and on: Pigs, otters, hyenas, grizzly bears, raccoons, deer… All of their penises have been carefully studied and recreated by Zetacreations.
And for the horse-lover who just can’t get enough… meet Thor:

People have legs smaller than that thing. And somewhere, someone is going to put it in their butt.
Best of all, though, is that Zetacreations has - by popular demand - catered to the imaginative zoophile, and even crafted some lovely silicone recreations of mythical creature penises. Consider, for example, the dragon dong:

I think about some pretty weird shit, but I can safely say that I have never once even considered the specifics of what a dragon’s wang might look like - but dammit, now that I see this, I have to say I think Zeta’s gone and nailed it. They’ve also done a spectacular job with The Tentacle, the perfect accessory for all of you ladies eager to act out your favorite anime tentacle rape scenes:

So next time you’re hankering for some equestrian lovin’, don’t fight with the real thing and end up like this guy - head on over to Zetacreations and get yourself a nice safe plastic alternative.
Oh, and when you’re trying to get to sleep tonight, just remember that you live in a world where somewhere, someone has fucked - no doubt to great satisfaction - a synthetic raccoon penis.












the miekster said,
April 5, 2006 at 1:16 pm
which animal’s dong is the thor actually supposed to represent? if you do however decide to opt for the real deal instead, here’s a nifty how to girls guide to sex with dogs”. it’s not as easy as it sounds apparently…
James said,
April 5, 2006 at 2:26 pm
Bizarre, as per usual.
I love this site, very entertaining in an educational, and intriguingly disguesting sort of way.
James
... said,
April 5, 2006 at 4:07 pm
… this is so horrifyingly great.
the miekster said,
May 11, 2006 at 6:41 pm
i wonder if they’re affiliated of the phallus museum in iceland… they must’ve some kind of deal.
tally said,
June 5, 2008 at 4:12 am
Hello ….
I want to buy soms dongs of a animal special from horses and dogs.
please can you help me
tally said,
June 5, 2008 at 4:12 am
Hello ….
I want to buy soms dongs of a animal special from horses and dogs.
please can you help me